Dragons Don’t Give a Shit about Your Outdated Gender Stereotypes

Welcome to How Best to Use a Sword! You’ll find navigation links at the bottom of every chapter–the series is made up of several distinct but connected stories, and so after this chapter you’ll start to see navigation buttons allowing you to move forward with either these characters specifically, or the series’s overall chronology. The story can be read in either way, and storylines that you aren’t interested in can be skipped if you like. The links on top of the page should direct you to some helpful information, and if you have a question for me, I answer every comment I get. I hope you enjoy reading!

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“You’re…” Owen cleared his throat, tried to get over his shock at the boy standing in front of him. “Excuse me. I’ve slain the dragon, your Highness. It’s safe to leave the cave now.”

“Oh.” The prince peered around Owen at the dead dragon in the entrance of the cave. He was a little bit shorter than Owen. “Okay, thanks. You’re not one of my father’s knights.”

“No, sire. I just wanted to, um, protect the kingdom.”

“Then why do you look so disappointed to see me?”

“No reason. I mean! I’m not. Disappointed. Um, we should go.”

“You don’t want to loot the dragon’s treasure first?”

Owen looked around at the piles of gold. “I guess we could do that.”

“We? I don’t need it and you killed the dragon. It’s yours if you want it.”

I know. Owen hadn’t killed the dragon out of want for money. “Right. I’ll, uh, do that then.” Owen looked around, for a bag or something to keep the gold in. At least he’d be rich, he consoled himself. Money could buy him what he wanted, or close enough as made no difference.

“You don’t even care about the money?” the prince asked, watching Owen’s face. “Why are you really here then? You didn’t kill a dragon because you wanted to protect the kingdom, there are knights for that. You did know there were knights, right?”

“Yes! I just…nevermind.” Maybe the prince actually was the princess, Owen thought now that he looked at him. He was very pretty. Maybe she was pretending to be a boy to protect her virtue. That made sense.

“You wanted the reward, right?”


“The reward? My father must have promised one. My name’s Gavin, by the way, since you haven’t asked.”

“Hello Gavin. Prince Gavin. I’m Owen.”

“Hello Owen. Why did you rescue me?”

“You needed rescuing.”

“What did you want in return?”


“I’ll give it to you, you don’t need to be embarrassed.” Owen tried to pretend that his pants didn’t get more tight than they’d already been at that. At least Gavin hadn’t noticed that little issue yet, since it was dark and Owen’s mail was too big so it covered his waist as well.

“I really don’t want anything.”

“You’re very strange.”

“Is chivalry such a new concept for you?”

“Chivalry?” Gavin squinted at him in the dark. “Owen, did you by any chance think I was a princess who needed rescuing?”

“No!” Owen went red until his face matched his hair. “Yes.”



“And so you don’t want anything because you don’t want anything from me.”


“Because you want it from the princess and ew, Owen, that’s my sister you’re thinking about!”

“Not really!” Owen protested. “It’s not like I know what she looks like or anything!”

“She looks like me only less pretty. That’s why the dragon took me instead.” Gavin sighed. “You killed a dragon just so you could have sex with my sister?”


“What, are there no girls in the village you’re from?”

“How did you know I was from a village? Maybe I’m from the capital.”

“Because only rural peasants believe enough in stories to suit up and rescue a princess from a dragon just so they can put it in her.”

“Whatever.” Owen turned away from Gavin. “Let’s just get you home.”

“Wait.” Gavin grabbed his wrist. “I can have sex with you if you’re that set on it.”

“What?” Owen pulled away, looking at Gavin carefully. Was he the princess in disguise after all?

“I can have sex with you. You came all this way and went to all this trouble, it seems only fair.”

“Well, that’s an encouraging attitude to have. I can tell you’re really interested.”

“So what, you were expecting her to fall in love with you as well?” Owen’s face flushed again and Gavin snickered. “Okay. Whatever. Let’s do it, take off your pants.” Gavin let go of Owen’s wrist and started unlacing the top of the ornate shirt he was wearing. It was all laced with gold and everything. Looked really uncomfortable.

“But you’re a boy.”

“So are you. We’re boys. We have sexual urges. I’ve been here for two weeks. You think it’s easy to jerk off when there’s a dragon watching everything you do? I swear even my mom isn’t as efficient at boner killing. Thank God you killed it.”

“Well.” Owen took a good look at Gavin and…well, he was really pretty. “Okay.” He started undoing all the clasps on his armour, lifting the mail over his head.

When he finally got it off Gavin was right in front of him in only his smallclothes. And Owen’s theory about him being the princess in disguise was officially disproven. “You’re too slow,” he said, reaching out and deftly undoing Owen’s pants.

“What the…I can do it myself!”

“This is twice as fast. Take off your shirt while I do this. I hope you weren’t hard like this while you were fighting the dragon, holy shit.”

“I, um, was.” Owen struggled to lift his shirt.

“You really wanted to fuck my sister, wow.”

“Shut up.” Gavin shoved Owen’s pants down a little bit and reached into his smallclothes, grabbing his cock and pulling it out. “Holy shit!” And Owen shuddered as he came into Gavin’s hand in a few hard spurts.

“Really?” Gavin asked into the embarrassed silence that followed. “Really?”

“I’m sorry! It was an accident, I swear!”

“Your plan to woo my sister was to cum all over her hand? She either would have smacked you or laughed you out of the cave. Have you never met your right hand?”

“I’ve been busy,” Owen protested.

Gavin glared at him and wiped his hand on Owen’s pants. “You were saving up for her, weren’t you?”


“You are a riot,” Gavin informed him. “Take off the rest of your clothes. You can go again, right?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess, in a few minutes.”

“Take off the rest of your clothes.” Gavin slid his smallclothes off and kicked them aside, freeing his own length and watching Owen undress a little more slowly. “I was going to ask if anyone’s ever told you you’re bad at this, but I guess you’ve never done it before.”

“Have you?” Owen nearly tripped over his pants as he tried to kick them off and realized it was because he hadn’t taken off his boots yet. So he sat down to unlace them.

“No, but at least I’m not an idiot.” Gavin looked down at him and smiled. “I like you better down there. You’re too tall, you know.”

“You’re just short.”

“And now you’re on the ground.” Gavin poked him in the forehead, stepped forward with his cock in hand. “Open your mouth.”

“Wait, what?” And Gavin went ahead and took advantage of Owen’s speaking to jam his cock in Owen’s mouth. “Mmrph,” Owen said, his tongue running up the shaft as he tried to talk.

“Oh, holy shit.” And a salty taste invaded Owen’s mouth as Gavin came, choking him. Owen fell back and the rest of Gavin’s seed ended up on his face in hot streamers.

“What the fuck.” What was one supposed to say in this situation?

“Oops.” Gavin just sort of laughed in a way that Owen thought was unfairly cute. It made it hard to be angry. “Sorry. Like I said, it’s, uh, been a while.”

“You literally just made fun of me for that ten seconds ago.” Owen swallowed what was in his mouth before realizing what he was swallowing and trying to spit the rest out.

Gavin blushed. Cutely, Owen thought. “Well. I guess we’re even now, then.”

“I didn’t cum all over your face!”

“Now that I’m looking at it like this, your face is kind of cute, you know that?”

Owen blushed again and grabbed Gavin’s smallclothes to wipe himself off. “You suck.”

“Actually you did, but semantics.” Gavin gave Owen a hand to help him up. “Come on, let’s have sex now.”

“That’s what we’ve been doing?” Owen said, or asked. Maybe. He was finding Gavin a bit confusing.

“Okay fine, let’s have more sex, then. God, now is not the time to be pedantic, I swear. Come here.” Gavin pulled him around the gold pile.

“Where are we going?”

“There’s a jar of oil over here. We’ll need it as lubricant so I can fuck you.”

“Wait.” Owen used his larger frame to stop Gavin from moving. “What? Fuck me? No.”

“Yes,” Gavin said, grabbing Owen’s again-hard cock in one hand and his own in the other and bringing them together. “Look how much bigger you are than me. It makes way more sense for me to do it.”

“Well…” That was true, Owen realized, and he was a little overwhelmed both by Gavin’s hand and the little tiny surge of pride that he was bigger than the prince, even if it wasn’t by as much as Gavin was pretending. “Okay. I guess.”

Gavin looked up at him, searching Owen’s face, and sighed. “Okay fine, you can fuck me instead.”

“What?” Maybe Gavin was two people? Or something? “I wasn’t arguing with you?”

“This is your princess-rescuing fantasy. I’ll indulge you this time. Come on.”

“This time?” Owen let Gavin drag him over to a large pot and watched the prince pull the wooden cover off in a haze.

“Here.” Gavin took Owen’s hand and stuck it in the oil, and then leaned over the pot, presenting his back end to Owen. “You need to stretch it with your fingers first.”

“What? Why do you know that?”

“Because I read books, Owen. Come on, I want you to do it.”

“O-okay.” This wasn’t anything like what Owen had pictured would happen and it was all moving very fast. Willing his hand not to shake, he reached down and touched Gavin on a cheek, leaving a trail of oil on his way to the hole. He found himself fascinated with the way Gavin trembled as he circled it with his finger, and when he pushed it in and heard the sound Gavin made he actually had to stop himself from just sticking his cock in right there.

“Does it hurt?”

“No, it’s just weird. Keep going.” Gavin was so warm around Owen’s finger, so squishy.

“Okay.” Owen pushed the finger in the rest of the way, watching it disappear slowly inside Gavin. Then, figuring one finger wasn’t going to cut it, he stuck a second one in as well, a little faster. Gavin gasped.

“Holy shit.” Owen only heard him vaguely, rapt as he watched his fingers. He pulled them out and pushed them back in, just to watch them disappear again. He couldn’t remember ever seeing anything that he wanted to watch more than this. Just pulling his fingers in and out like that. “Fuck, Owen.”

“I’m going to put another finger in.” Gavin nodded, gripping the lip of the jar tightly, and Owen slid another inside, marvelling at how Gavin just made room for him.

“It hurts a little.” Gavin reported breathlessly. When Owen started to apologize, he said, “No, keep going. Just slower. Is all.”

“Okay.” So Owen did, still pushing his fingers in and out, and watching the way that Gavin’s shoulders tensed as he did. Eventually his body relaxed a little. “You okay now?”

“Yeah.” Gavin turned awkwardly to look up at Owen. “You’re going to put it in now, right?”

“Yeah.” Owen removed his fingers, revelling in the little noise Gavin made, and dipped his hand in the pot again, taking the oil to smear on his cock this time. Gavin turned around to face him.

“Like this. I’m going to look at you.”

“Okay, but you’ll fall.” Owen gestured to the pot, worried it would tip over or something.

“On the ground, then.”

“No.” Owen’s face flushed again, but he took Gavin firmly by the hips and moved him over to the gold pile, had him lay down against it.

Gavin tittered a little. “You pervert. You had this all planned.” When Owen nodded, feeling a little embarrassed again, he continued, “And I ruined it by having the wrong parts.”

“No.” Owen shook his head firmly. “You didn’t ruin it, really. I, um. I’m glad it’s you, Gavin.”

That earned him a wide, open smile. “I’m glad it’s you, too, Owen. Let’s go.”

“Okay.” Owen lined himself up and found the entrance, carefully pushing himself in against Gavin. The clink of metal moving was the background noise, joining Gavin’s little squeaks. He tried to go slowly so he didn’t hurt Gavin but the pile of coins, as it turned out, couldn’t quite support their weight and collapsed a little, sending Owen toppling forward onto, and into, Gavin. “Oh God, I’m sorry! Are you okay?”

“Fine,” Gavin said faintly, nodding. Several stray coins had ended up on his chest. “Just wait a second.”

Owen nodded, and the second that he waited was the longest second of his life. He couldn’t imagine a place he’d rather be than inside Gavin like this. It was the most amazing thing he’d ever felt, like Gavin had been made for him to fit inside.

When Gavin finally gave him the okay, Owen started thrusting awkwardly in and out, finding it hard to get a decent momentum because the coins kept shifting under Gavin. He’d thought absently about watching himself go in and out of the prince like he’d done with his fingers, but he ended up watching Gavin’s face instead, squirming and contorting, all because of Owen.

It was the face that did him in. Owen clutched Gavin’s shoulders and exploded inside of him, crying out from the unexpected force. When it was over he tried not to collapse on Gavin. He was tired but Gavin was shaking him by the arms. “Hey. Hey. You’re not the only one here, you know. I’m not done yet. Keep going, brave knight.”

“Okay.” Owen’s thrusts were slower, lethargic, and he was sore now, and sensitive, but he kept going, until a few minutes later when Gavin suddenly wrapped both arms around Owen’s neck and made the cutest series of sounds Owen could have imagined, spurting all up his chest.

Panting, Owen pulled out of Gavin and lay beside him on the pile of coins. “Well,” Gavin said, between breaths. “There you go.”


“Anytime. Hey Owen, what were you going to do after you got me back to the castle?”

“Um.” It was hard to think right now, why did Gavin want to ask questions? Now was a sleeping time, Owen thought. “I don’t know. I didn’t plan that part out.”

“Right.” Gavin sounded tired too, at least. “I suppose you wanted to marry my sister.”

“I guess.”

“You could still do that.”

Owen made a face. “Can I marry you instead?”

Gavin laughed, rolled onto his side and look at Owen. “No. But you could kidnap me instead.”

“What?” Rolling over was more effort that he was willing to do, but Owen did it because Gavin had and he had gone through a lot more than Owen. “What do you mean?”

“Well, instead of bringing me back home you could just take me with you.”

“Take you with me. Where?”

Gavin shrugged with one arm. “Wherever. We’ll take all this gold and go on an adventure. There’s another dragon a few miles south of here.”

“You want to go on an adventure. With me.” The part of Owen’s brain that was incredibly satisfied right now was screaming at him that this was a great idea.

“Yeah. I’ll be the brains and you’ll be the other thing. We’ll get all kinds of gold and we can have sex whenever we want.”

“I’m in,” Owen said immediately, so quickly that Gavin laughed.

“I thought that might convince you. Still disappointed that I’m not a princess?”

“Nope.” Owen rolled them both so he was on top of Gavin again, coins sticking to his back. “Some dragon could kidnap all the princesses in the world and I wouldn’t care now.” On instinct, he leaned down and kissed Gavin on the mouth, awkwardly bringing their lips together in a mash that Gavin reciprocated just as badly before he broke away, giggling. “What?”

“You’re terrible at that.”

“So are you.”


“Uh-huh.” Owen kissed him again, and this time it was a little better. He could feel Gavin’s hardness suddenly, pressing into his belly. “Really?”

Gavin raised an eyebrow. “I did say whenever we wanted.”

“So you did.”

They were boys. They had sexual urges. Owen dipped his head down towards Gavin’s as they both indulged in them.


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