—
“Isn’t this kind of…a lot of armour?”
“It’s training armour,” Erik told him, as Edwin finished strapping himself in.
“Right,” Edwin nodded, getting the last of it in place and looking at himself in the mirror. His shoulders were covered entirely, and from there the armour went down his sides, leaving open space across his chest so as not to impede his breathing, and meeting in the middle halfway down his belly, where the armour ran down in a straight line fitting between his legs in a cup that held him very firmly in place, and then stopping. Aside from the straps around his waist, his shoulders, there was nothing on Edwin’s back, nothing on his legs but metal boots, nothing on his arms.
Edwin flexed a few times in the mirror, deciding if he liked it. Not that it mattered whether he liked it, since it was his armour now.
Still, he couldn’t help but glance over his shoulder at Erik’s, which didn’t have the plate running down the sides, just the shoulder pieces and the steel below the belly and the cup. Someday Edwin would dress like a proper knight.
“If you’re done admiring yourself,” Erik said, heading for the door.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming,” Edwin muttered, flinching a little when Erik gave him a friendly slap on the ass on the way by. “Hey.”
“Good for you. Powers the armour.”
“What?” Edwin asked, following him out into the hall as they headed for the training yard.
Erik smiled. “The armour’s magic, or it’s got some magic in it. Makes you faster, stronger, all that jazz. But you have to help power it up.”
“With…a slap on the butt?” Edwin asked, not sure he was buying that. He did feel a bit lighter.
“Among other things,” Erik said with a shrug, leading Edwin out into the training yard.
There, Edwin joined his friends and looked out at the other knights. “Do you ever feel really overdressed?” he asked.
Ty was touching his toes and looked up at Edwin as he came over. “Don’t even get me started. How are we supposed to move in this?”
“Once we get better they’ll upgrade us,” Leo said, on the ground doing the splits. Edwin sat with them to stretch too. “Can’t have us getting stabbed before we’re fully trained.”
“At least not in the bad way,” Ty added, giving Leo a pinch. “Useful that there’s nothing back here.”
As he reached behind his head, doing his own stretches, Edwin frowned, looked down at his armour. It was really snug, had had no give in a few vital places.
And that was when Edwin figured it out. The armour didn’t get powered by the slap on the butt. It was powered by Edwin’s reaction to that, which was…going to be extremely limited as long as he was wearing it.
They’d been given armour that fed on sexual frustration.
“Oh, boy,” Edwin said, leaning back and looking up at the sky. There was nothing to be done about it. Just had to prepare himself for the inevitable. At least he’d get a lot stronger. “This is going to suck.”
—
How Best to Use a Sword 