Pain Always Seems Less Important When it’s Happening to Other People
—
Derek wasn’t crying, which surprised Sam. The only sounds he could hear were the sounds of the bed creaking, his soft moans and grunts, Henry’s breathing and panting, and the sound of flesh hitting flesh.
Plus occasional frustrated noises from Todd. Henry hadn’t needed much convincing to fuck Derek, and Sam had decided it would be more fun if Todd sat in to watch as his favourite victim got used by someone else. Sam knew Todd’s type well enough to know that would upset him more than almost anything. It would upset Sam more than almost anything if someone else started hurting Henry, after all.
Sam had fucked Todd too, but only once, and then he’d come back over to his chair to work on the magic collar some more. He was going to get it today if he had to kill someone. He kept an ear on the bed as he worked, but honestly it wasn’t very interesting. Just the sounds of people fucking. Maybe he should go over there and stab Derek or something, make it more fun.
Almost as soon as Sam thought that, he heard Henry pick up speed, grunt and cum inside Derek, who squeaked. Henry let out a sigh, then got up from the bed. That was his third load, which was usually Henry’s limit.
Sure enough, Henry’s footsteps approached him, and the bed creaked again, a yelp from Derek as Todd jumped on him, probably going right for it. Sam hardly blamed him. Then there was a strange tussle that had them both making a lot of noise for a second, before the normal fucking sounds started up again. Henry had paused, but then came to sit beside Sam.
Sam reached out and grabbed Henry’s balls, healing them to make him hard again, just in case. “What was that about? Did Derek fight back?” It seemed out of character for him.
“He rolled them over,” Henry said. “He’s riding Todd now.” He sounded…proud.
“You encouraged him,” Sam accused. That was hardly fair.
“Nah, I just suggested that Todd might react better to a show of dominance than continued submission.” Henry chuckled. “You know what Derek said when I started? He said I was so big that Todd wouldn’t be able to hurt him anymore.”
Sam snorted. “Cute.” That was more intelligent than Sam had expected from Derek. “Why isn’t he fucking Todd then?”
“Don’t know, but Derek’s a lot smarter than he seems. I think he’d go far if we trained him a little.”
Sam didn’t care. “Do whatever you want, he’s nobody.”
“Not for long,” Henry muttered. “How’s it coming?”
“I’m almost done,” Sam said, frowning. “There’s just this stupid part at the end where Order won’t behave and let me close the circle. I can’t…figure it out.”
“Hm,” Henry said, not making fun of him, not that Sam had figured he would. “There’s too much Chaos at the start of the circle. It’s backing up when you try to close it with Order and repelling it.”
“What…” Sam scowled. “What the fuck do you know about sorcery? Don’t try to tell me that was part of your Arkhewer education.”
“No,” Henry admitted. “I just saw the diagram you were working with. I’ve been reading Solomon’s books.”
“Why?” When did Henry have time for that?
“One of us has to, and I figured I should learn at least the basics of how you work.”
Oh. Sam felt himself blush. “Fine. I modified the diagram a lot, there’s hardly any Chaos at the open of the circle now. It’s all concentrated in the middle. It shouldn’t be an issue.”
“Oh, well so much for my suggestion,” Henry said with a quiet laugh. “I tried.”
“I…thank you,” Sam said, focusing back on the collar. He was immediately distracted by a loud moan from Todd as he came. “Will you two fuck off? I’m sick of you.”
There was a moment of panting, then the bed creaked as the two of them started to get up. There was relative silence for several minutes as they collected their junk and then finally left, the door closing behind them. “Well, Derek’s going to be walking funny for a while.”
“Whatever,” Sam said. He really didn’t care much about Derek. But maybe he should? Not today, though. “Let me work on this, I’m almost done.”
“Yeah,” Henry said, not moving. “I want to talk about that libido spell.”
Sam blinked. “What?”
“The spell you told Isaac you used on me. I want to know how many times you’ve used it.” Henry sounded dangerous, a tone Sam had gotten used to from him by now. He wasn’t dangerous, Sam could toss him across the room if he wanted to.
So Sam just sighed. “Aside from in Three Hills, only the once, when you pushed me against the wall. And I didn’t make you pick me, before you ask. No, I didn’t use it today, or with Todd, or any other time. That was all you.” Henry had been doing so well lately, Sam didn’t need him rolling back into blaming all of his actions on something Sam had done.
“You’d better not be lying,” Henry grumbled.
“I don’t lie.”
“No, but you often just choose not to tell me things. You’d never have told me about that spell if Isaac hadn’t noticed you doing it.”
No, Sam probably wouldn’t have. “It was funny.”
“Hm. Use it on me now.”
“No.” Sam was trying to work, he didn’t need this right now.
“I want to feel the difference,” Henry said. “So I know when it’s active and when it’s not.”
Sam sighed, pressing back against the headache he felt forming. “Fine,” he snapped, reaching out, taking Henry’s hand and casting the spell. “There. Now feel the difference, shut up and let me work.”
“Okay,” Henry promised. “When you get it, I’ll fuck you in celebration.”
“When I get it,” Sam said, focusing again, “I’ll fuck you as a celebration.” He liked this newer, freer Henry, but he had been getting a bit too confident lately. It wouldn’t hurt to curtail that just a bit. Well, it wouldn’t hurt Sam, anyway.
“Fine,” Henry said, shifting in the chair and picking something up from the table. A book, Sam could hear the pages flipping. “Let me know when you’re done.”
Sam didn’t say anything, just working in the blessed silence that wasn’t as calm as it could be because he was so aware of Henry right there, turning pages. Whatever the reason for Order being all finicky, Sam was going to figure it out.
He worked for a solid twenty minutes before he realized what it was all at once. It was what Henry had said, but not really. The strain of keeping the knot of Chaos where it belonged was stretching the other threads of power too far, and making it impossible to graft them. Once Sam loosened the knot, just a little, putting up an extra conduit to siphon the excess power to where it should go, the circle closed in an instant and…it was done. “I…I did it!”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah!” Sam was giddy, bouncing a little in his chair. “It was…the Forces were drawn too thin near the edges. I’ve got it now, though, it’s done!” It was the hardest spell he’d ever done; he was excited.
“Nice,” Henry said, reaching over and taking the collar out of his hands. “So it’ll work? You can use this on Saul?”
“Yes,” Sam said, getting up and moving, climbing right into Henry’s lap and kissing him. Henry kissed back. “I can use it on any practitioner of magic. Once it’s on, it won’t open without the key, which I have on the table.”
“That’s awesome, Sam,” Henry said, kissing him again. “And how powerful is it?”
“Powerful enough. Nobody can break it, the spell is designed to disrupt the body’s ability to access the powers related to magic. It could hold anyone in the world indefinitely.” Sam giggled, realizing that Henry had never dressed after he’d finished with Derek. He was hard. So was Sam.
“We should test it out,” Henry said, hands sliding up Sam’s chest, kissing him now and then. His breath was warm on Sam’s face in a way Sam didn’t dislike.
“Yeah. One of Hans’s wizards is still under lock and key. We’ll slap it on her.”
“There’s someone else we could try it on,” Henry muttered, voice quiet, as his hands drew higher up.
Sam frowned, trying to think. “Who? There are no other practitioners in the castle. I doubt it would work on Scott. And going all the way back to Three Hills to get Isaac is stupid just for a test. Oh, we could take it to the woods, trick James into wearing it…”
“Yeah. But that’s not who I was thinking.”
“Then who?”
Henry kissed Sam. And Sam felt the collar press against his neck, clicking shut. “You.”
Sam’s stomach dropped as he felt the Forces vanish, the ever-present buzz against his body just…gone. “What? Henry…fucking…that’s not funny.”
“I don’t know,” Henry said, kissing him again. “The look on your face is pretty funny. You were cute, all excited that you’d finally figured it out. Congratulations, Sam.”
“Henry!”
“What?”
Sam was…Sam was angry. He tried to get away, out of Henry’s lap—he’d crawled there himself, like an idiot!—and to the key on the table. Henry held him in place, not letting him go. He was so strong. “Let me go!”
“No.” Henry gripped Sam’s arms painfully. “I don’t think I will. You know why?”
Why was he so big? Sam couldn’t get away, he struggled and he couldn’t get free, he was trapped. “Henry…let me…”
“Because I’m stronger than you,” Henry whispered, standing up and standing Sam with him, holding him by the arms. “Because I’m stronger than you, and that means I can do whatever I want to you. You taught me that.”
“No, Henry, no…I’m going kill you…let me go!”
“Okay,” Henry said, tone calm. “I’ll let you go. If you try to reach for the key, I’m going to hit you.”
And Henry’s hands came off his arms, freeing Sam, who just stood there breathing for a second, trying to calm down. And then he lunged to the side, to where he knew the key was on the table.
Henry grabbed his wrist, stopped him. And smacked Sam hard across the face, then punched him in the gut, doubling him over in pain. “Ah!”
“What did I tell you?” Henry asked.
Coughing, Sam tried to get away from Henry, but he wasn’t strong enough. Henry kept him in place, and he heard something being lifted from the table. “I’ll keep this somewhere safe until we need it. Don’t worry, I’ll take the collar off eventually.” He paused. “After all, I’m only powerful in this castle because of you. The guards only listen to me because of you. If they realize you have no power, then neither will I and we’ll both be dead within the day.”
“You’d better not take it off me if you value your life,” Sam warned, anger permeating his everything. If he’d had his power he’d be dragging the castle down on them right now. “Because you’re going to die as soon as you do. And don’t you fucking dare think it will be painless just because it’ll be quick.”
“Yeah, we both know that’s not true,” Henry said, unafraid. When the fuck had he stopped being afraid of Sam? What had Sam done wrong?
Sam growled, shaking. “How dare you? How dare you pretend to know what I’m thinking? How dare—”
Henry smacked Sam again, then started pulling him towards the bed. “What are you…”
“Act like you don’t know, why don’t you?” Henry asked. And Sam was thrown on the bed. Still naked from before, Henry climbed on top of him.
“No!” Sam said, realizing what Henry meant to do. He couldn’t, not like this, not while Sam had no power to stop it, not while Sam couldn’t be the one in charge, not while…
But Henry just yanked Sam’s pants down, smacking his leg when Sam kicked at him. When the pants were around Sam’s knees, Henry climbed in between Sam’s legs, effortless preventing Sam’s efforts to clamp them together, and lined himself up. “Henry…”
“Shut up,” Henry said, and he started to push in.
Sam shouted, pain arcing through him, a tearing pain that burned. “Ah…”
“Does it hurt?” Henry grunted.
“Fuck…fuck you…”
Henry punched him in the gut again, and pushed in farther until Sam screamed. “Does it hurt?”
“Y-yes…” Sam admitted, hating that he was crying more than anything. It hurt so much, so much more than he’d thought it would. It was the pain, but it wasn’t even that. It was the way Sam felt aside from the pain, like something had been ripped from him, something he’d never get back. He felt broken, violated.
Powerless. Powerless in a way that had nothing to do with his magic.
Henry started moving, and Sam couldn’t do anything but lay there and cry, cry as Henry fucked him, raped him, tore him to pieces. As Henry took everything away from him, Sam could do nothing but lay there and sob like an idiot. He’d thought he knew what it was like. He knew what bottoming was like, and he’d thought it was just that, but with more pain, with some humiliation. But no, it wasn’t, it wasn’t at all.
Henry came at some point, pouring into Sam. And then he pulled out, rolled off of Sam. “I’m hungry,” he said, getting off the bed to look for clothes. “I’m going to go get us lunch. Stay on the bed, I’m going to do that again when I get back.”
Sam lay there, listened to him dress, listened to him leave. He should get up. He should get up and find a weapon, something to gut Henry with or club him over the head with or, or…
But Sam didn’t do any of that. He stayed right there on the bed, crying, hurting, and waiting for Henry to come back.
—
How Best to Use a Sword 