Small Faeries Having Big Problems May Be A Cliche, but it’s Also True

This is the final short story in the main narrative of How Best to Use a Sword! Depending on how things go on Patreon, it may not end up being the last story overall, but it’s the last one that I have planned out as part of the plot, and it’s an eye on a situation that up until now has been pretty mysterious. I’m doing something a little different with it writing-wise as well, so I hope you guys enjoy!

Ao3 Link

Juniper flew. He raced through the forest, breath short, wings aching. But he couldn’t slow down. Not now. They’d catch him. At the very least, he had to…

“Woah, hold on there, buddy.”


“You can’t just start the story with me flying for my life,” Juniper says, pausing in his flight. He puts his hands on his hips, glaring into the air, pink wings slowing to a gentle flutter behind him. “What the hell is that? Where’s the buildup and the dramatic tension? Your readers don’t know me from a piece of dandelion fluff and you expect them to care that I’m fleeing for my life from some ambiguous force?”

It wouldn’t be an ambiguous force if you’d let me get through the opening paragraph. There was a whole dramatic reveal in the second paragraph about centaurs, June. It’s called style.

“It’s called being confusing, you dumbass bird.”

It’s an in media res opening! People like that!

“People also like knowing what the fuck is going on.” Juniper shakes his head. “You have to start the story sooner.”

Or I could end the story sooner. And then the centaurs caught up to Juniper and ate him. The end.

“Yeah, you’re hilarious, sure.” Juniper smiles. “Come on now. You’re the one who’s so in love with your chronology. You’re starting me in the future of the rest of the series. Don’t do that to your readers again. They’ve got a lot to keep track of.”

Okay, okay, fine. We’ll start earlier.

“Thank you. Give the readers a better sense of me and what motivates me. Maybe you could start at the party where I first learned about the…”


“Hm.” Juniper frowns. “Oh, I guess the day after that would be good. You could get your slightly mysterious opening and people could wonder about this guy I’m waking up with when…”

No. I know where to start it.

“All right, no need to get snippy. Closing my eyes. Hit me with it.”

Consider yourself hit.

Juniper moaned. He was stretched to his limit, sitting in the lap of one of the guys fucking him, wings pressed against his toned chest, with the other in between his splayed legs, cock pressed alongside the first, the two moving in tune with each other. Writhing in between them, Juniper tried to say something, but he couldn’t around the third cock, the one in his mouth, the owner of which was fluttering above the ground to straddle Juniper’s face as he fucked him.

The faery behind Juniper, arms around his middle, was called Hawthorn. The one in front of him, playing with his nipples, was Hickory. The one pulling Juniper’s hair was Honeysuckle. There was a reason why he wasn’t supposed to be having a four-way with them, but Juniper, at this moment, couldn’t quite remember what it was.

Hawthorn and Hickory had tried to drive their cocks into Juniper at the same time, keeping pace with each other, but after the first few thrusts, though there was enough room for both of them, they’d failed to stay together, and now Juniper was pressed against Hawthorn and Hawthorn was deep inside him, thrusting shallowly while Hickory thrust in and out with boundless energy, not minding that Honeysuckle’s ass was in his face as he rammed right into Juniper’s throat, taking all the considerable pleasure he could from Juniper’s skilled mouth.

They were a loud bunch, the three penetrating faeries moaning and groaning at a volume that made Juniper’s sound fade into the background, such that when Juniper started to cum, even though he got loud with it, they barely noticed, only Hawthorn taking note of the fact that Juniper was tightening around him as he squirted.

Hickory came first of the other three, shouting something as he drove deep into Juniper, leaning forward and bumping Honeysuckle, which got him to give a surprised thrust into Juniper’s throat, which made him cum as well with a loud whinge. Hawthorn was quiet as he came, his grunts calming to a low volume as he held Juniper tightly and shot his load inside alongside Hickory’s.

Then the four faeries collapsed, Honeysuckle falling out of Juniper’s mouth to rest, Hickory pulling out. Only Hawthorn stayed inside, Juniper melting against his chest, content. “Hope you guys aren’t tired out,” he muttered, cum running down his chin.

All three laughed, and Hawthorn kissed his neck. “Not tired. Just resting.”

Juniper nodded, smiling, though not entirely content. He opens one eye, looking into the distance. “This was a shitty thing to do.”

You’re the one who wanted to start with motivation and characterization.

“Congratulations, you’re about to characterize me as a horrible person.”

I think people are more forgiving than you think. Don’t look now, your motivation and characterization is standing in the doorway.

“Are standing in the doorway.”

Is standing in the doorway. It’s one guy.

“I know who it fucking is.”

Juniper sighs, waiting for a sound. He heard it, and looked over. Another faery, a very pretty one with sky-black hair and wings like white lace named Hemlock, was standing there, just looking at them, eyes slowly filling with tears. “Hem…”

The other three looked up. “Oh, hey, kid,” Hickory said, waving at him. “You want to join in? We’re just about to start…Hemlock?”

He’d already run off. “Shit,” Juniper said, scrambling off Hawthorn’s cock, out of the pile of sex, grabbing his tunic but not bothering to put it on as he ran after Hemlock.

“Hey, you said he didn’t mind!” Hickory shouted, but Juniper ignored him as he ran after his boyfriend.

Juniper caught up with him just outside of the pod, where he was sitting on the bark porch, crying his eyes out against the wall. “Hemlock. I’m…I’m sorry…”

“No you’re not,” Hemlock sobbed, wings shuddering. “You…you asshole.”

“It wasn’t…” Fuck, of course it was a big deal. “It didn’t mean anything, baby, it was just a little bit of sex.” It had been a lot of sex.

“I told you,” Hemlock cried, refusing to look at Juniper, moving away when Juniper tried to put his hands on his shoulders. “I told you. I didn’t care who else you fucked, anyone else in the whole forest. As long as it wasn’t one of my brothers, June. As long as it wasn’t one of my brothers.” Hemlock sniffed, looked up at Juniper for the first time. “A-all, all three of them? Were you, were you trying to rip my heart out and fuck it into a hole?”

“No, it wasn’t,” Juniper sat down, hands shaking. He’d fucked up so bad. “It wasn’t like that, Hem, I swear. It was just Hawthorn at first, and then Hickory found us, and…and…”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Hemlock demanded in a shrill voice. “Cause it fucking doesn’t, you lying piece of filth.”

“Hem…I’m sorry.” Juniper meant that. He did. He hadn’t meant to hurt Hemlock. “I promise it’ll never happen again. I’ll, I’ll even be monogamous if you want, I swear I’ll…”

“Don’t,” Hemlock said, standing up. The black makeup he wore around his eyes to make them pop was all smeared and runny. “Don’t lie to me again, Juniper. Just go away.”

“Hem, I love you.”

“Go away!” Hemlock shouted, a wave of toxic magic emanating from him. Juniper felt a bit sick, but he didn’t step back. “I don’t want to see you ever again. Go away, go away, go away!” This last was in a scream that came with a concordant blast of poison, which threw Juniper off his feet and into the air.

Tears in his own eyes now, Juniper buzzed backwards, watching Hemlock recede. “I love you,” he said, just loud enough to be heard. “I’m sorry, Hem. I love you.”

Hemlock didn’t answer. Juniper flew away, tunic in hand. He didn’t talk to anyone, didn’t see anyone. He should have gone to the spring first, to clean up, but he couldn’t. Someone would see him crying and ask why. So he just went home, zipping through the trees, underneath other pods like the one he’d left, through vines and frozen branches and other shit he didn’t want to look at or think about, until he got to his family’s pod.

Juniper flew in, ignoring his parents when they greeted him, and made straight for his hammock, nearly tangling his wings in it as he collided, then pulling the blanket over himself so he could cry without interruption.

He could feel the aftereffects of his mistake all over his body. The soreness between his legs, the scratch in his throat, the sting in his nipples. He could feel their hands on his hips, his chest, in his hair, their bodies pressed against his. He still smelled like them. “Fuck,” Juniper whispered. “Such a dumbass.”

It was only once he’d calmed down a little that Juniper sticks his head out from under the blanket. “Fuck you,” he snarls. “Fuck you. That was…that was a shitty thing to do.”

Look who’s talking.

“Oh, fuck off.” Juniper pulls the blanket back over his head. He does not want this to be how his story started.

Too bad he isn’t the one writing it.


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Next (Series)

4 thoughts on “Small Faeries Having Big Problems May Be A Cliche, but it’s Also True

  1. I’ve heard of writing being an extended argument between characters and writer, but I hadn’t thought it quite so literal.

    How aware is the rest of the world of Juniper’s conversations with you? Like, from the perspective of others in the same scene, do these little arguments with you just “not happen”? Is it more like Deadpool, where his medium awareness is written off as him being crazy? Or is it something weirder?


    1. Because I often have these arguments with my characters, I thought that having a story where that actually plays out on page might be an interesting writing experiment, and a fun thing to read. 🙂

      In universe, most people don’t pay much attention to Juniper’s asides. Most people vaguely know that it’s something he does, but they just kind of do something else while he is. A lot of faeries commune with spirits or other forces, and Juniper is known to have a chatty patron who grants him powerful ice magic. There are one or two characters around who will notice that Juniper’s conversations with nothing are a little strange, but most of them politely haven’t said anything. 😀

      Thanks! I’m excited for this story, so I hope you enjoy!


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