Character Profile: Cal

Name: Calvin Tanner

Aliases/AKAs: Cal, Cockhole, Desh’nej, Five Eyes

Title(s): The Doomed One

Hair Colour: Brown

Eye Colour: Brown

Height: 150 cm

Weight: 50 kg

Build: Petite

Distinguishing Marks: N/A

Dick Size: Average

Relationships (Romantic and/or Sexual): Wes, Mick, Sully, Travis, Joey, Beatrice, Lillian, Ray (teammates), Bob (forgotten love)

Family Relationships: Christophe and Lorelei (parents), Colin, Laslow, Levi (brothers), Nathen Jerrel De’Kerken (preincarnation), Grey Rain (part-time teammate), Ayrkanumone (imp on his shoulder)

Sexuality: Bisexual

Preferred Positions: On top, on his knees deepthroating

Kinks: Being manhandled, being fed, dirty talk, exhibitionism, role play

Orgies Attended: The Great Pelican Bay Orgy, The Stag Keep Orgy

Bio: The youngest of four sons of a tanner in Bright Harbour, Cal wasn’t going to inherit his family’s business and didn’t relish the idea of opening his own tannery. He’d always been interested in history and exploring, and when rumours started to spread of a cursed goblet in one of Bright Harbour’s warehouses, Cal made it his business to find it before anyone else and collect the reward money. After that, with his parents’ blessing, Cal left home to pursue a career as an artefact hunter. It took a year or so, but he finally managed to put together a team he could work with, and now has made quite a name for himself in the field. Recent developments in his life pertaining to his being the reincarnation of the deity more commonly known as God have not changed his career goals overly.


  • Cal doesn’t much resemble any of his brothers or his father
  • Cal is formally trained in swordplay because his brothers paid for lessons, worried that he was too small to defend himself properly with his bare hands
  • Cal has visited every major city in Menechit at least once, except Jdinrma-Hash
  • Whenever he’s back in Bright Harbour he visits his family for a few days. He’s quite sure his mom likes Wes and Mick better than him
  • A number of Cal’s childhood memories take place in rivers, including his first time masturbating and his first meeting with his childhood best friend. There are no rivers in Bright Harbour
  • Cal has always had pretty high alcohol tolerance, which has often led to him drinking too much
  • For the first little while he was on the job, Cal refused to steal artefacts that were in the lawful possession of other people. This changed when a merchant he refused to steal from was driven mad by an old map he had and Cal had to kill him in self-defence
  • Cal only seriously dated one person prior to Wes and Mick and it was a girl he knew in Bright Harbour, who broke up with him when he missed several dates in a row because he was exploring old buildings
  • He has an emergency bank account that’s specifically for if his family ever needs money; they won’t let him just give them any though
  • Cal worked on and off with several people initially, but never formed permanent partnerships with anyone until he met Wes and Mick


  • “Fuck the rules.”
  • “Yeah, yeah, the living dead, unholy horrors, whatever. We found the thing.”
  • “We’re Armageddon’s Vanguard.”
  • “Do you ever get the feeling there’s something bigger going on?”
  • “It’s a little intimidating is all. And if you ever repeat that I’ll punch you in the balls.”
  • “God, the end of the world is going to suck.”
  • “Peacocks are the classiest birds. Falcons are just dogs that can fly.”
  • “The last several times I ran into people seemingly at random who are interested in what I’m doing, they’ve either tried to rob me or turned out not to exist. It’s coloured my impression of strangers a little.”
  • “I don’t suppose you’d believe me if I told you I was God?”
  • “The hangover should be gone. That’s how it works. You drink, you have a shitty morning, it gets better, you get on with your life, you drink again. It’s a cycle.”
  • “Did you think for a second that I wouldn’t move the world to get you back?”
  • “I’ve come to realize that most things are all my fault at some point in their development.”
  • “No respect. Why did I even create this world?”


  • When Cal was born, there was a second bag of water, suggesting he’d had a twin at some early point in utero
  • At the age of seven Cal led a group of local children to find out what was in the cellar of the nearby tavern. It turned out to be pickles
  • Cal never once lost a game of hide and seek with his brothers
  • When he was being belligerent or not keeping up, Colin used to carry Cal around. This happened until Cal left home
  • When Cal was rewarded for finding the cursed goblet, the first two things he spent money on were, in order, clothes that hadn’t once belonged to one of his brothers and a visit to a brothel, where he confirmed his suspicions about himself by paying for a boy and a girl
  • Laslow always took Cal with him to buy supplies their dad needed for the tannery because Cal was always the best haggler in the family even as a child
  • Cal had his first drink of wine when he was twelve and sleeping at a friend’s house. About two hours later he was arrested for peeing on a statue of a king and also the guard who tried to make him stop
  • Cal crawled into other people’s beds until he was twelve, and stopped only because he’d been told he was too old to do that, especially since he slept naked
  • Levi and Cal used to play team games with other kids and secretly work together even though they were on opposite teams and openly hostile to one another. Nobody ever caught on
  • Cal’s second paid job after leaving home was to find a haunted clock, which knocked him out for a week when he touched it and when he woke up he was wearing clothing made from fabric he didn’t recognize and strange paper money in his pockets

Modern AU: Modern Cal is an urban explorer and avid Dungeons and Dragons player an DM who is interested in digging deep into the criminal history of the city where he lives and solving historical mysteries. His current career path is to become an archaeologist, and he will tell anyone who asks that he’s not interested in dinosaurs. In D&D, Cal plays a lawful good priest named Nathen in his ongoing campaign with Wes and Mick, which now includes Sully and Joey, and Beatrice and Lillian to prove that he’s not only playing with people he wants to sleep with. Cal works part-time at a local arena, where he’s a timekeeper. He lives with his family in a house where he’s grateful that two of his brothers have moved out so he can have his own room to plan his exploration routes and D&D campaigns, and also have all his boyfriends over at once when possible.

6 thoughts on “Character Profile: Cal

  1. “Cal doesn’t much resemble any of his brothers or his father”
    “When Cal was born, there was a second bag of water, suggesting he’d had a twin at some early point in utero”

    So, I remember you said that Cal does resemble Nathen, but also resembles I think you said a part of his family. So he looks more like his mother?

    Does the twin thing have anything to do with Nathen?


    1. Cal does resemble Nathen a little, and he does look like his family–mostly his mother. There are resemblances between him and all his brothers, and he doesn’t take after his father at all.

      The twin thing does have something to do with Nathen! I shall leave it to you guys to decide what, though. 🙂



  2. So…. The river thing was an unsettling smack in the face. Kind of like “there’s nothing worse than being woken up at 3am by a baby crying… Until you realize you don’t have kids” O.O he just had a number of Nathen memories about his old clan’s river including the one where he met Rawen and just never realizes they literally couldn’t have happened in his childhood?? Come on Cal *^* I wonder how a conversation about those memories would have gone over with his family members. “Hey, do you know where my best friend is? You know, the one I played with in the river? I haven’t seen him in forever!” “… You mean the ocean? You didn’t usually play by the docks, you and your friends always go to the abandoned warehouse” “No the river! The one next to the village where we wash off and do rituals and my brothers died!” “Honey WHAT”


    1. The river thing is probably my favourite detail in this profile. I’m not much of a scary horror writer, but when I do write that kind of stuff, I like the unsettling, psychological wrongness that comes with something like an invasive memory or a person/thing that shouldn’t be there. Cal has never been pressed on his insistence on there being rivers in his childhood, so it’s hard to say what he’d do if he was. A few times as a kid he mentioned remembering rivers and his parents thought he meant sewers and just told him not to play in those. 🙂 Some more in-depth conversations about it might have exposed a few important things about him a lot earlier, haha.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s