Character Profile: Russ

Name: Russ, Russ Orchard (Modern AU)

Aliases/AKAs: Niall hee-Minda, Niall Mindt (Modern AU)

Title(s): The Gods’ Grace, King Regnant of the Kingdom of Neshez, Protector of the Fertile Lands

Hair Colour: Red-Brown

Eye Colour: Blue

Height: 166 cm

Weight: 64 kg

Build: Lean

Distinguishing Marks: N/A

Dick Size: Above average

Relationships (Romantic and/or Sexual): Niall (double), Sally (boyfriend), Buck and Doggy (best friends), many Hazenti people (clients/subjects) 

Family Relationships: Green Gil (pimp/brothel owner), prostitutes at the Lilac Garden (family)

Sexuality: Pansexual

Preferred Positions: Atop their partner

Kinks: Praise kink, role playing, blindfolds, orgasm denial

Orgies Attended: The Lilac Garden Community Orgies, Castle Falv Public Orgies

Bio: Abandoned in a fountain in Hazent’s East quarter as an infant, Russ was rescued by a prostitute from the Lilac Garden brothel and raised there alongside the children of the prostitutes. When they were old enough to start working in the brothel that was what they did, and they now work there full-time and have their own client list of dedicated regulars. Russ isn’t entirely sure they want to work as a prostitute for their whole life, no matter how good they are at it. They also work odd jobs in the East Quarter to earn some extra money, though they have so far turned down every apprenticeship they’ve been offered. After a week-long vacation from work, Russ ended up taking on a second job because the closest person in the world to them needed a hand.

Notes (Chapter 1): 

  • It is policy at the Lilac Garden that children raised there don’t know which prostitute is their biological parent. Russ didn’t know that they weren’t born to any employee there until last year
  • At four years old, Russ had to be circumcised due to complications from an infection
  • Russ isn’t attracted to almost any of their clients, though most of their clients believe they are
  • When they were little, Russ was excited for when they would grow up and get to work. They very much did not enjoy their first month of work, but it has since grown on them and now they take pride in being good at it
  • When Russ has time off, they like to go out into the East Quarter and play portal ball
  • Russ has a good relationship with most of the shopkeepers and merchants in the East Quarter. They only steal from the ones who don’t mind
  • Russ doesn’t own most of their possessions exclusively—whatever clothes and jewelry and makeup they’ve bought with their money, they share with the others at the brothel
  • Russ and their friends have a standing agreement that each of them can disappear from work once a month and expect the others to cover their clients for them
  • If pressed, Russ will admit that they consider Green Gil their father
  • Russ believes that empathy and kindness are the most important qualities that a person can have

Notes (Chapter 11):

  • Russ started dating Sally not long after the coronation. They’d never had a boyfriend before, and they’ve decided they like it
  • Not long after the coronation, Russ developed necromantic powers and became a student at the Nechezer School for the Unheard Arts
  • Russ attended Nolan’s trial and testified against him as Niall, because Niall couldn’t do it
  • Russ’s first act as monarch was to establish an office that specifically catered to prostitutes and other low-class people who wanted training for better jobs


  • “Where do you live? I know this city like the tip of my own cock.”
  • “I didn’t hurt him or anything. I promise he’s okay.”
  • “I don’t want someone else to be whipped in my place anymore. If I misbehave, I should be punished for it.”
  • “I’m the expert in sex, trust me.”
  • “If he’s being hurt, then he shouldn’t be there. I thought he’d be okay, I really did.”
  • “Thank you, Marquis. You’re looking especially fastidious tonight.”
  • “Does that work on Niall? When you tell him there’s nothing to worry about, does he agree with you and turn around like a good boy for an ass patt?”
  • “When someone is sick, you help them; you don’t lock up their friends and their families”
  • “I’m holding the leash now, got it?”
  • “Listen, I don’t have time to explain, but there’s important prince stuff going on.”
  • “Stop, Nolan. All of you. Don’t hurt him. That is your prince. I’m the imposter, and I can prove it.”
  • “Don’t be stupid. This is both of our problem now. It’s all of our problem.”
  • “But nobody would ever have to know,”
  • “You really will be okay. And you’re not alone. You have us, and you have me. I don’t know how to read or do politics or count money or anything, but you’ll always have me, if you want.”
  • “Hey, I have a great idea…”
  • “Hey, I work two jobs for the good of this kingdom.”
  • “I’m glad I met you too, you slut.”


  • The Lilac Garden has three cats: Bungy, Orlo and Tamirah. Russ named Tamirah
  • After much practice, Russ can spin a portal ball on their finger for minutes, and on their dick for even longer
  • Russ’s virginity was auctioned off on their seventh birthday to a man who later became a major client of theirs. They never bothered to ask how much it sold for, but their birthday dinner that year was extravagant
  • Russ wears outfits with lots of thinner layers so that they can entertain their clients with a strip tease
  • Buck and Doggy are the only people Russ has ever had sex with in a non-transactional way
  • Russ sometimes visits the fountain where they were found and just sits there quietly for a few hours
  •  Russ’s favourite way to travel is on Doggy’s back
  • Russ is the only person in the brothel trusted to cut everyone’s hair; they’re very good at it, giving a lot of attention to their friends’ body hair
  • Russ sometimes tries to make food. They insist that the resulting fires are coincidental
  • Russ knows their way around the East Quarter instinctively because the coloured lamps always tell them where they are

Trivia (Chapter 11):

  • Now that they have magic, Russ has been trying to learn about transformation spells, because they think it would be cool not to have a dick all the time
  • Russ doesn’t actually think Neshez, or any kingdom, really needs a monarch, and has made good progress convincing Niall of this
  • When they’re sitting on the throne, Russ prefers to have a toy up their ass to make it more comfortable

Modern AU: Modern Russ is a ward of the state who mandatorily attends East County School for Boys, a school that also serves as a correctional facility for juvenile delinquents. They don’t really think of themselves as a boy or a delinquent, but the government and all their charges for prostitution disagree, and ostensibly they’re a student at East County for their protection from all the predators who’ve taken advantage of them. Fortunately, the guards and teachers and other students are pretty happy to let Russ do whatever they want in exchange for a few orgasms a week. As part of their community service, Russ has started acting with a local group, where they are the understudy for a rich kid who has a lot of weird ideas about how the world works. When not locked up at school or doing community service, Russ likes picking up touch football games, bowling, and thinking about graffiti but lacking the artistic talent to do it. Lately, they’ve gotten stuck attending a rich-ass boarding school, which is somehow worse than their own, though they’re rapidly finding that teachers and other students are still happy to trade favours if they’re asked the right way.

4 thoughts on “Character Profile: Russ

    1. Certain positions in portal ball aren’t allowed to use magic and only require athletic ability. It doesn’t have a full nonmagical variant, but it can be played by mostly nonmagical people as long as you have minimum 2-5 magic-users per team. 😀

      Stay tuned until Friday for more information about portal ball!


        1. Yes they do, so that’s definitely going to make them a stronger player for sure! 😀 And open up a range of new positions they can play in the game.

          (I noticed your second comment correcting yourself here, so I hope you don’t mind that I just used admin magic to make the correction on your original comment).


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