Character Profile: Ozzy

Name: Oswald of Merket, Oswald Guntersen (Modern AU)

Aliases/AKAs: Ozzy

Title(s): N/A

Hair Colour: Black

Eye Colour: Blue

Height: 150 cm

Weight: 43 kg

Build: Lithe

Distinguishing Marks: N/A

Dick Size: Average

Relationships (Romantic and/or Sexual): Daniel, Marcus (boyfriends), Trevor, Al, Hugh, Simon (friends)

Family Relationships: Ursula (mentor), the Empty Moon (guild),

Sexuality: Gay

Preferred Positions: Pinned to something

Kinks: Submission, role play, sexual bargains, danger, cross-dressing

Orgies Attended: Regular Slave Orgies

Bio: Born in an inn and left behind when the tab was paid, Ozzy was found by an innkeeper and cared for for a few weeks before being handed over to the Empty Moon Guild of Assassins, who were looking for new recruits. Ozzy was raised by the guild in their underground network of tunnels and secret bases, trained as an assassin starting at three years old. By the age of ten he was already a very accomplished member of the guild, though of course his accomplishments are spoken of only in whispers, as is customary. More recently, Ozzy took on a mentorship position to a boy far too old to start training with the guild, and has found him and his friends to be a useful civilian cover. This is the story he tells to anyone who asks, because emotional attachments are both hard and dangerous and it’s best to pretend he doesn’t have either if he can.


  • Ozzy was named by the innkeeper who found him
  • Ozzy has the whole tunnel system under Merket memorized—except he finds new tunnels every few months
  • When he was four, Ozzy was shopping with some other members of the guild and he was chased by some wild dogs, which bit him very badly and nearly took his arm off
  • Ozzy has lived his life in Merket, but his work has taken him all over Menechit, once to Aergyre and twice to Enjon
  • The first person Ozzy killed was his only agemate in the guild, a boy named Herb. Herb was dying of cancer and couldn’t he healed, and asked Ozzy to end his suffering. Ozzy was seven
  • Ozzy’s preferred method of assassination is to make the death look like natural causes
  • Until recently, Ozzy lived in the tunnels and, when he needed a civilian cover, pretended to be the son of a prostitute in a brothel called the <i>Shake</i>
  • Ozzy has had a number of friends, but none whom he felt he could be himself around. Daniel is the first friend he’s ever had who made him want to be totally honest
  • Like all senior members of the Empty Moon, Ozzy has access to a talisman that will teleport him to the guild’s headquarters from anywhere in the world
  • Ozzy doesn’t keep track of how many people he’s killed. He doesn’t see the point


  • “I don’t care what you think you can do.”
  • “There are no monsters in the dark, Daniel. We conjure our own when we’re stuck there.”
  • “We’re too cute and harmless to be carrying poisoned knives around.”
  • “It’s okay to be a wimp. Embrace it. Love who you are.”
  • “I can’t believe we’re best friends. I’m better than your other friends, right?”
  • “There’s no cheating in real life, you’re just as dead even if the other guy’s a lousy cheating cheater who cheats.”
  • “If you ever picture me naked again I’m going to cut your eyes out, okay?”
  • “You know for a fact I’m not, and I don’t really fancy cutting part of my dick off.”
  • “Maybe I’m mad that you took advantage of my affection for you and used it to poison me, when, I will remind you, I am your best friend.”
  • “Now get naked, because I have to tell you how to make this poison and it’s weird if I’m the only one not dressed.”
  • “I’m not leaving. I’m not. You can’t make me.”
  • “I get myself in trouble just fine without your help,”
  • “Boy rules are pretty clear that if you’re an asshole, you only get to cum if you do it with your asshole.”
  • “Before you tell me you can do it alone, no and shut up.”
  • “You’re just jealous that I’d look better in a skirt than you.”


  • As a child, Ozzy believed faeries built Merket. He believed this because some faeries told it to him
  • Ozzy has eaten at every restaurant and inn in Merket
  • Ozzy occasionally spends a day or four hanging out with groups of homeless kids on the streets of Merket. He lost his virginity in one such group when he and a few of the boys he was with decided to barter with some older boys in the neighbourhood for alcohol
  • Ozzy is part of a city-wide information network that reports all the goings-on in Merket. He is the only person in the network who knows to whom it ultimately reports
  • Ozzy refuses to eat raisins on principle. He will tolerate grapes, but considers them to be always a hair away from being traitors
  • Since he was old enough to have sex, Ozzy has been a regular customer to several of Merket’s sex workers, some close to his age and some older than him. His favourite is a young man named Gunter, whom he visits once a week
  • Ozzy frequently fantasizes about having sex with someone’s hot son or hot bodyguard or hot brother in order to get away with an assassination, but in reality this has never happened
  • Ozzy always pees with his pants and smallclothes around his ankles, no matter where he’s doing it
  • It took Ozzy several attempts to figure out why sex with Daniel was better than with other people, and he’s now concluded it’s because he and Daniel are soulmates
  • After long and careful thought and consultation with his favourite priest, Ozzy has concluded that the existence of dicks is proof that God is real and benevolent

Modern AU: Modern Ozzy is a resident of Eclipse House, a group home for orphans, which on the surface is a normal group home and under the surface is a normal group home with ties to the criminal underworld that sometimes grooms its residents to be hitmen and other types of criminal. Ozzy prefers not to dwell on that too much and instead focus on the positives in his life, like his boy scout troop and his friends and his school. Ozzy does spend most of his time living honestly (or at least living legally), hanging out with his friends like a normal boy his age, and has recently become very attached to the foster son of a local billionaire. When not camping, hiking, committing crimes or doing homework, Ozzy likes streaking, caves and making people carry him places.

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