Todd’s Review of Camp Buddy

Who even likes crap like this, anyway?

Camp Buddy is a dating sim about a summer camp where you get to decide which of five guys you want to fuck. It was crowdfunded over the course of a few years by fans of Mikkoukun, the main artist, and made basically by him and his friends, which I guess is impressive or whatever.

I guess there are going to be spoilers for this dumb game or whatever, just in case you care about the parts where you don’t fuck people, which there are actually kind of a lot of.

The basic plot of Camp Buddy is that your character, Keitaro, goes to this summer camp because his best friend Hiro wanted to fuck him and thought taking him to a summer camp made more sense than just asking him. Which to be fair, Keitaro is fucking dumb, so maybe it did. Once you get there, you meet Hiro and the four other guys you can fuck instead of Hiro. Hunter is a soft little punching bag, Natsumi is a boring camp counselor, Yoichi is a hot wolfboy, and Taiga is a bully whose romance route got added as DLC a while ago. Over the course of trying to fuck all of them, you learn about their lives and tragic backstories or whatever and you end up getting a boyfriend.

Obviously it’s totally stupid and nobody with a brain would ever like that shit, and obviously I only played it so I could make fun of it like it totally deserves. In order to convince the different guys to fuck you, you have to be nice to them and say shit that they like, some of which is a bit counterintuitive, but that’s what guides are for. The first part of the game is the same for every guy, and after a certain point you’re locked into one route, which is normal for dating sims. I hear. Arthur told me that.

Arthur is super into dating sims, actually. He actually played most of this game for me and just told me what happened so I could write this review. He’s played so many dating sims and he never stops telling me about all of them, actually. What a jerk.

So yeah, Arthur dated Hunter first, and was really into his whole thing about his family’s expectations and how he doesn’t really have any friends or a real life because of moving around all the time, and even though he only did Hunter because he wanted to beat the shit out of him and make him cry, he actually ended up crying when Hunter learned to stand up for himself and ask for what he really wanted and shit, or something. He also fucking cried over Yoichi and his stupid dead dog and her stupid puppies. He didn’t cry over Hiro though, Hiro’s annoying. He sucks your dick once and acts like he owns it and spends the whole game getting mad that you have hotter friends than him, like a little fucktwat. Fuck Hiro and his mom with cancer. Natsumi’s route is all about how his older brother overshadows him and he wants to stand out and be recognized for his own achievements, and even though it’s boring as fuck Arthur has played it like five times because Natsumi has a big dick and likes to take care of Keitaro. Taiga’s is about how Taiga is only a bully because he was bullied and his life was ruined a year ago and he doesn’t know how to stop being an asshole to everyone and pushing away the people who care about him because he’s so fucking afraid that if he makes friends with someone they’ll turn on him too. I…I thought that was really stupid, but Arthur loved it. He wants to cry just thinking about it.

So yeah I guess if you’re an emotional piece of shit you’ll like the non-fucking parts of the game. The writing must be pretty good or something, and the game is voice acted, which is pretty cool. Not all the voice acting is amazing, but it’s also not done by big-time professionals or anything, so it’s stupid to criticize it for that. The game has a few super minor problems like with the sound mixing, sometimes dialogue and music will be at drastically different volumes and stuff, but these guys are all new to this, so they’re doing a pretty good fucking job with what they have.

The art is really good; there are a few really good artists working on the game and all the sex scenes come with nice CG sets that are awesome to jerk off to if you’re the kind of person who’s allowed to jerk off. I do kind of like having Arthur fuck me while we watch the sex scenes together, that’s also fun, and shut the fuck up, okay? I’m allowed to like whatever I fucking want.

The stupid thing about Camp Buddy is that there’s a big “all characters are 18+” warning at the start of the game, which is an obvious lie so BLits can cover their ass legally. Considering Mikkoukun has a history as a shotacon artist and now pretends not to so he can seem “legit,” I think that’s a bit dumb. I mean, everyone knows that about his history, it’s not like it’s a secret. And I’m not 100% sure about the other artists involved but I’m pretty sure some of them have the same history, so it’s just kind of stupid to pretend otherwise. Legitimately who was on the fence about Camp Buddy and then saw that the characters were over eighteen and decided to play it after all? Besides that, it’s about a fucking summer camp and most of the characters don’t have any pubic hair. Like, we’re not stupid.

So yeah, like, Camp Buddy is stupid and you’re stupid if you like it. Obviously nobody who’s not a total loser would ever play a game like this or get really invested in the characters or try and fail to write fanfic about it or play it like fifty times or be really excited for the next DLC about the scoutmasters or…

Fuck this. I’m going to go fuck Natsumi again.