Character Profile: Dragon

Name: Dragon

Aliases/AKAs: Dwagen, Thunder Mountain

Title(s): Good Boy

Hair Colour: Grey

Eye Colour: Yellow

Height: 89 cm

Weight: 93 kg

Breed: English Mastiff

Distinguishing Marks: Large jowls

Dick Size: Above average

Relationships (Romantic and/or Sexual): Runner, Spill, Heartboy, Celestia (mates/pack)

Family Relationships: Him, His mate, His new mate, the one who smells like dirt, the one who smells like clay, the puppy, the sad one, the angry one, the one who smells like flowers, the scared one, the wolf, the quiet one, the heavy one, the puppy’s watcher, the sun, the moon, the strong one, the one who always barks (humans), Donkey (littermate), Doctor Pentacle and Eastwind (parents, deceased), Eagle, Endmaker, Dealer (littermates, deceased)

Sexuality: Dogsexual

Preferred Positions: Doggy style

Kinks: Dominance

Orgies Attended: N/A

Bio: Born in a litter of three in the Kyainese village of Dolewater, Dragon was what humans might call a stray for some years, valiantly protecting everyone from horses and the like, until his life changed when Him rode through his village, trapped on a horse. Dragon felt obliged to protect the poor human and followed Him, eventually rescuing Him from his horse, and then chose to stay in order to further protect Him, who seemed to get in a lot of trouble. His family has become Dragon’s family, and though they keep moving around, Dragon is content with his life and plans to live out his days by His side.


  • Unlike many dogs, Dragon does not believe humans to be immortal, just very long lived. It makes him sad to think that his humans will die someday
  • Dragon prefers not to bark, feeling that his humans are smart enough for him to communicate with them like adults
  • Dragon is very aware of his size and is very careful not to hurt any humans with it, especially the small ones
  • Dragon has never had time to have a family of his own because his duties to his humans take up so much time, but he is now expecting a litter of puppies and is excited by that
  • Sexually, Dragon prefers the company of male dogs to female dogs


  • “Woof.”


  • Dragon knows that other humans only treat Him well because they’re intimidated by Dragon himself, and has been trying to train Him to be intimidating in his own right
  • Dragon’s first sexual experiences with another dog were with an older mastiff who humans called Cherry. They were occasional mates for many years until Cherry died
  • Dragon finds His modesty and insistence on only mating with his mates when Dragon is not in the room to be very amusing
  • Dragon is perpetually baffled that humans, especially young humans, don’t eat all the food given to them, and always finishes it for them to lead by example
  • Occasionally, Dragon encounters humans who are obviously not supposed to be there. He is very good at convincing them to return to where they should be without causing anyone any distress

Modern AU: Modern Dragon was taken in by Him as a puppy, and has stayed with Him ever since. He is well trained, doesn’t get on the furniture except when nobody is looking, doesn’t take food off the counters except when nobody is looking, and doesn’t break out of the yard to go roaming in local parks unless he feels like it. With many people to take care of, Dragon has the perfect life. When he’s not looking after his humans or looking after other stray humans he’s found around town (such as his favourite, the smart one), Dragon likes long walks, gardening, meeting other dogs and making sure there are no cats around.  

10 thoughts on “Character Profile: Dragon

    1. This is YAHR (Yet Another Homestuck Reference).

      Specifically, a reference to Becquerel, the omnipotent and highly radioactive canine First Guardian of Earth, and a very good dog indeed.


        1. Not in general, but the particular phrase “Good dog, best friend.” It’s used repeatedly throughout Homestuck, and always in reference to Bec.


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