Enjoying the Things You Used to Is A Sign of Healing, Supposing it’s Genuine
Salvador had been hired to work on the cleaning staff just after Geoffrey’s father had died. He was tall, skinny and had long hands, and smelled like oranges. Geoffrey had only spoken to him once, just after he’d been hired, about some spiderwebs in Giacomo’s bedroom.
He also had a long, skinny cock that he was ploughing in and out of Geoffrey’s asshole, with a wide, flared head that was catching on the rim of Geoffrey’s hole and refusing to leave his ass no matter how far back Salvador pulled.
Geoffrey was bent over the arm of a chair in the study, eyes closed as he waited for it to be over. Salvador was still going at a steady pace, so it would be a while, he figured. He wasn’t saying anything as he fucked Geoffrey, just grunting and occasionally groaning whenever he drove deep into Geoffrey with a particularly strong thrust. His silence was nice, at least. The room was filled with breathing, the chair creaking, and that was it. No screams, no jeers, no name calling.
Earlier, when a new guard named Heinrich had used his ass, there’d been name calling, just a bit. He’d called Geoffrey a slut and a loser and told him over and over that he must like this. Geoffrey had cried after he’d left, but only after. He’d only cried after Bertel had left too, no matter that Bertel had left bruises on his shoulders. He was Geoffrey’s age, and Geoffrey had never met him before. He’d meet him again, though. Bertel had promised.
But with Salvador, Geoffrey didn’t think he’d cry. It didn’t hurt. Salvador wasn’t insulting him or belittling him. He was just fucking Geoffrey. Just using him. He hadn’t even been mean about it, he’d just asked Geoffrey to bend over after he’d finished dusting a bookshelf.
And of course Geoffrey had. What else was he going to do?
Salvador’s balls slapped against Geoffrey’s, then did it again and again and again. He was speeding up, adjusting his grip on Geoffrey’s hips. He must be almost done.
Geoffrey wondered if it was almost time for supper. It had been a while since lunch, since Heinrich, but he wasn’t sure exactly how long. The cooks were making something called tagine, which was a southern dish with pears in it that Geoffrey had never had before. Janus said it was really good, though, so Geoffrey was looking forward to it. Then they were going to play cards with Dimitri and Deiter, and Raoul too, Geoffrey thought.
The other hostages, even the ones Geoffrey didn’t know, had kept their promise. None of them had touched him—some had asked Geoffrey to fuck them, which he hadn’t felt up to. But he’d been thinking throughout the day about what Terry had said, how the boys would fuck him fi he wanted it. A game, he’d said. Maybe it would be fun. Geoffrey hadn’t enjoyed himself with Heinrich or Bertel, because he didn’t know them and he didn’t like them or the way they’d used him. He was just bored with Salvador, because the only interesting thing about Salvador was the shape of his cock and it had gotten old after a half hour inside Geoffrey. Maybe with someone he liked, he’d like it. He’d used to like sex, hadn’t he? Because he’d always had it with people he liked.
Geoffrey had thought he’d never want to be touched again. But nothing would ever be as bad as what had happened outside the castle. Sex was just a thing, like a body or like eating. It was who and why that mattered, maybe. Geoffrey wasn’t sure, not yet. He didn’t know if he’d ever be sure. Thinking about it was hard. It was easier just to think about supper and cards.
Salvador let out another groan, and he pulled his long cock almost all the way out of Geoffrey, the head sticking at Geoffrey’s entrance, throbbing as he came spurt after spurt inside Geoffrey. Salvador sighed, resting there in place for a good minute without saying anything. Geoffrey just let him, because who was he to ask someone to stop using his hole? He could feel Salvador’s cum squishing around inside him, mixing with what Heinrich and Bertel had put in him earlier. It was better than having it run down his legs. Geoffrey had a plug somewhere. He’d probably start wearing that so his legs weren’t gross all the time. He’d had it made for Giacomo, but Giacomo hadn’t really liked it.
Finally, Salvador popped his cock out of Geoffrey’s hole, and stepped back, clearing his throat. Clothes rustled, and Geoffrey straightened slowly, turning around just in time to see Salvador tucking his cock away. Geoffrey’s loincloth was on the floor—Salvador had untied it rather than pushing it aside—and he picked it up, holding it loosely in his left hand. He didn’t have the energy to tie it right now.
Salvador cleared his throat again. “I should get back to work. My lord.”
“Right,” Geoffrey said, the title more of a slap than Salvador’s balls had been against his. “Okay. Get someone to look at this chair. It’s creaking.”
“Yes, my lord,” Salvador said, looking embarrassed.
Geoffrey sighed and went past him, pulling the study door open. Salvador’s cum was running down his leg. “See you,” he said, for something to say, and went out in the hallway.
He paused, shutting the door behind him. He was alone in the hallway. It was the time to cry, if he was going to. But he didn’t. He’d been right, he didn’t. He hadn’t hated that. Or, he had, but not enough to cry about it. Maybe.
Maybe he should just find one of the boys and ask them to fuck him. Maybe that was the only way to really be sure how he felt. Yeah, okay, he thought, walking back to the bedroom. He’d do that.
But he didn’t see any boys on the way to the bedroom. Just a servant whose name was also Raoul, and two guards patrolling, but none of them did any more than look at Geoffrey. There had used to be women on the staff, Geoffrey thought. He wondered if Giacomo had fired them.
The bedroom was empty, and Geoffrey went over to the bedside table, looking through it for the plug. He found it with a few other toys and some spare bottles of oil, and he oiled the plug up, reaching down beside himself to try and put it in. It slipped out of his hands, rolled under the bed. Geoffrey sighed, got down on his hands and knees, reaching under the bed to grab the plug.
The door opened, because of course it did. “It’s just me,” Janus said, as soon as he was in the room. He shut the door behind him. “Do you need help?”
“I’m fine,” Geoffrey said. “I just dropped something.”
“Okay,” Janus said, coming over. He sat beside Geoffrey as Geoffrey got his hand on the plug. “Are you okay?” he asked. Geoffrey could feel Janus’s eyes on his ass, on the cum running down it.
“Yeah,” Geoffrey said. “Yeah, I’m fine, really.” He pulled the plug out, showing it to Janus. “I just don’t want to make a mess.”
Janus looked at the plug, then took it out of Geoffrey’s hand. “Do you want a bath?”
Geoffrey shook his head. “If I take a bath every time someone fucks me, I’ll be in there all day. I’ll be fine with the plug during the day. I’m fine, Janus. It’s not…as bad as I thought it would be. It’s just sex.”
“It’s rape, Geoffrey.”
Geoffrey shrugged. “I guess.” It wasn’t at all the same thing as what had happened outside the castle. “I want the plug in.”
“Okay. I can put it in for you,” Janus said. He sighed. “We had a letter.”
Geoffrey looked at him, watching the hunch of his shoulders, the expression on his face. He got up and lay back on the bed with his legs spread. “When is he coming?”
“Tomorrow. He wants to talk to you. He didn’t say what about.”
“Okay,” Geoffrey said quietly, heart pounding in his throat. “Can you fuck me?”
“I don’t think that’s…”
“Please?” Geoffrey asked. “Please, Janus. I was thinking earlier that I don’t know. What I want or like, I mean. And I was thinking that maybe I’d still like it if I fucked someone I knew. Someone I liked. And I love you. So if I’m going to like sex with anyone, it’ll be you.”
Crap, he was crying again. Geoffrey wiped his eyes, looking up at Janus, who was looking down at him.
Janus put the plug down, and he nodded. “Okay,” he said. “But tell me to stop if you want me to,” he said. He untied his loincloth, set it aside.
He wasn’t hard. “Do you want me to suck you?”
“No,” Janus said, climbing on top of Geoffrey, touching him so gently. He kissed Geoffrey, pressing their bodies together, their cocks rubbing smoothly together as they made out. Janus touched Geoffrey’s face as they kissed, his cheeks and ears and hair and everywhere, and it made Geoffrey want to touch him, so he did. He touched Janus’s face, and his hair and his neck and shoulders, and his back, and his skin was so warm, but covered in goosebumps. He must be so cold wearing nothing in the house in the winter.
Geoffrey tried to warm him up, running his hands down Janus’s back, feeling him everywhere, feeling his ass. After a minute of that, though. Janus looked up from the kiss, smiled. He was fully hard against Geoffrey. And Geoffrey was hard too, which surprised him. Janus reached for the oil. “I don’t need it.”
“I do,” Janus said. He got up and poured some oil right onto his dick, then put the bottle back. And then he started kissing Geoffrey again, but this time he was lower down.
Geoffrey kissed him back, Janus’s cock pressed against his hole. “I’m going to put it in,” Janus muttered, and Geoffrey nodded, going back into the kiss.
The penetration was easy, Janus slipping right in, and Geoffrey whimpered. It felt nice. He pulled Janus closer, kissing him more deeply before Janus could stop to ask if he was okay. And Janus didn’t. He just kept going, and his hands came down, wrapping around Geoffrey’s hard cock, and for just a second, for just one second, Geoffrey heard screams, but as soon as he heard them they left and he relaxed, made himself relax, under Janus’s touch.
There was something warm and soft and comfortable about being in his bed, with someone he loved inside him and on top of him, and for a while as it happened, Geoffrey felt like everything was going to be okay. He was crying now, but it was because he was so happy to be together with someone who loved him.
He came before Janus, splattering their bellies with his cum and inhaling a sharp breath out of Janus’s mouth, which Janus sucked back, and neither of them could breathe so they stopped kissing for just a second, heads resting together. “You’re not done,” Geoffrey said, when Janus hadn’t moved for a second.
“I don’t need…”
“I don’t need you to be a martyr for me,” Geoffrey said, holding Janus closer. “Please, Janus?”
“Okay,” Janus breathed, and he started to move again. He was right on the edge, Geoffrey knew he was, and sure enough, it wasn’t even two minutes later before he was done, spilling himself and adding to the mess inside Geoffrey. He rested his head on Geoffrey’s collarbone, staying there for a minute. “I love you,” he muttered.
He’d been so quiet Geoffrey wasn’t sure he’d been meant to hear. “I love you too.”
Janus nodded, pulling out. He picked up the plug and, when Geoffrey smiled at him, oiled it up again. He popped it into Geoffrey, who felt Janus’s cum move around inside him, unable to escape. It was a nice, thick plug that was pretty shallow, but maybe once Geoffrey was used to it he’d find a bigger one. “Will you have a bath with me tonight, when it’s time to take it out?”
“Of course I will,” Janus said, holding Geoffrey’s hand. “Would you do something for me?”
“Would you fuck me now?” Janus asked, voice cracking a little. “I just…nobody has since before. Before.”
Oh. Geoffrey hesitated. He hadn’t thought about being on top again. But…it was what Janus wanted. “Okay,” Geoffrey said, rolling them over gently. He took the oil, one hand on Janus’s chest. “But we’d better not be late for supper. I like pears.”
Janus smiled up at him. “We’ve got a few hours, yet.”
They were late for supper. Geoffrey was enjoying himself just that much.