Character Profile: Twig

Name: Egon the Swift, Egon Toblin (Modern AU)

Aliases/AKAs: Twig, Axe Hound, Jailbait

Title(s): Squire of the Dolovin order

Hair Colour: Strawberry blonde

Eye Colour: Hazel

Height: 142 cm

Weight: 34 kg

Build: Wiry

Distinguishing Marks: Long scars crossing his chest

Dick Size: Below average

Vagina Size: Below average

Relationships (Romantic and/or Sexual): Dante (fiancé)

Family Relationships: Noel (best friend), Emilia the Bear (mother, deceased), Atlus Evershard (father), The Starlings (gang), Sir Owen (mentor), Emery the Eel (turncoat uncle)

Sexuality: Gay

Preferred Positions: Reclined and being eaten out, folded in half

Kinks: Rough sex, dirty talk, role play, erotic asphyxiation

Orgies Attended: The Squires’ Pre-Anointing Orgy, The Stag Keep Orgy

Bio: The son of two leaders of Three Hills’s largest criminal gang, the Starlings, Twig grew up on the streets of the capital, running errands for his parents and committing minor felonies for the gang or because he felt like it, and overall helping keep the city’s criminal underworld in good working order so that everyone could live their lives peacefully. He didn’t really want to inherit the gang when he grew up, mostly just wanting to marry his boyfriend Dante and commit minor crimes on the side, but that decision was made for him when his uncle tricked Twig into helping betray the gang, which resulted in his mother’s death and a series of arrests that set the Starlings back years. Seeing the way the city guard and the order of knights treated the arrests and investigation—and the way they treated his father in prison—Twig decided that the best thing he could do was become a knight himself so he could change the way law enforcement enforced laws, and so joined the training school with his best friend. After a brief period of being mentored by a tool, Twig is now the squire of Sir Owen the Dauntless, which he feels is a good fit for him, not the least because he thinks Owen is receptive to the kinds of changes he wants to make in the world.


  • Twig’s body was ambiguously sexed when he was born, so his parents waited until he was old enough to tell them if he was a boy or a girl or something else. He took his time deciding and had his parents call him Amy for a few years, but decided he was a boy when he was ten, though he did once briefly change his mind for two weeks while he was in training
  • Twig met Noel when he was four years old and his parents were meeting with Noel’s dad, a corrupt city guard lieutenant. They’ve been best friends ever since
  • Twig met Dante when he was nine and he was running away from some older boys in a rival gang who were going to beat him up. Dante thought he was being bullied and beat the other boys up for Twig. They spent the whole day together and were in love by sundown
  • Twig’s mom taught him how to formally fight, because she knew it would give him an edge over people who only knew how to brawl in alleys
  • Twig’s dad taught him how to lie without getting caught and how to charm people, because he could see that Twig was never going to be someone who could punch his way out of every problem
  • Twig’s uncle taught him a lot about smuggling and business, which was why Twig believed him when he asked Twig for help with a business venture that turned out to be a setup that got half the Starlings arrested or killed, including Twig’s mother
  • When Twig and Noel wanted to join the training school, they were told they were too young and to come back next year, so they broke in and added their names to the student registry. They both graduated a year faster than most students
  • Twig knows that respecting his superiors is important, but he thinks it’s more important to respect his betters, equals and friends, which is why he never respected Stan
  • Twig maintains all his criminal connections as a knight, most of whom are pretty happy with his career choice, assuming he’s going to use his new circumstances to help them out, which he is, if not in the way he knows they’d prefer
  • Twig’s father is still in prison, his scheduled execution constantly moved back thanks to the connections he still has. He has forbidden Twig from breaking him out just yet
  • Twig used to have several Starling tattoos, but had them magically removed so he could enter the training school, where he didn’t want everyone knowing he was one of them. He plans to have them redone someday
  • Noel is Twig’s most important emotional relationship outside of Dante. He and Noel tell each other everything and are unfailingly supportive and defensive of one another without question
  • Twig’s uncle has disappeared. When he eventually resurfaces, Twig plans to kill him


  • “I mean, I’ve had the same boyfriend since I was nine, so…what do I know, I guess.”
  • “Can’t help it if you’re a loser.”
  • “I promise not to make an ass of myself, sir.”
  • “I always listen to him, he’s my direct superior, and my mentor. I hear everything he says.”
  • “You guys are Edwin’s boyfriends, I remember you. I guess that means you’re not murderers.”
  • “It’s just Twig, actually.”
  • “Sorry. This is just my first fancy castle party so I don’t know what they’re like, but you always hear about murderers showing up at rich people’s parties. So I was looking for murderers, I guess.”
  • “I think all rooms kind of exist to store furniture.”
  • “Sorry. I was just looking for murderers. You guys aren’t murderers, right?”
  • “Thanks. Nothing to worry about here, just standard security stuff. You can go about your business, sirs.”
  • “I can say with a great deal of certainty that I’ve cooled off a lot, sir.”
  • “Trouble is good for you.”
  • “Huh. A knight who doesn’t take advantage of their squire. Weird.”
  • “I think I deserve a mentor who won’t make me freeze to death as punishment for being too good for him.”
  • “Besides, if I don’t run my mouth, what am I going to do with my free time?”
  • “To be totally honest, sir, I think it’s actually you who’s a piece of shit.”
  • “Yes, sir!”
  • “If you’re going to bang a family member it should either be intentional or you should never find out just who it was your dick was in. But never that middle thing, you know?”
  • “I think you have to meet people where they are, not where you want them to be.”
  • “I can’t believe you did that after I told you not to do that exact thing, you asshole.”
  • “I’m so glad I get to witness the deployment of the most important magical invention of our generation.”
  • “That’s so cool. Can we go, Owen? Only I’ve never seen a golem before and I think it would be a good learning experience.”
  • “I feel like glowing scrolls are pretty emotional. Like, I’d have had one on my wall when I was eleven to show off how moody I was except I wasn’t that moody and also didn’t have walls.”


  • Twig once broke into the castle on a dare and overheard two people talking about an illegitimate child, and was very grateful that his parents weren’t rich so that stupid shit like that didn’t matter to them
  • Twig’s parents had a stable house for most of his childhood, though they often stayed elsewhere. Twig often had to find his own place to sleep for his own safety, sometimes for several weeks at a time, which served him well after his mother was killed and he was homeless for several months
  • Twig lost his virginity when he was seven; he’d been kidnapped by a rival of his parents and was being held for ransom. He seduced the guy guarding his room and then stabbed him in the neck once they were done fucking so he could escape. It was also his first time killing someone
  • Twig has kept Dante’s status as a dragon secret from everyone except Noel at Dante’s request, even though he would tell everyone he met if he were a dragon
  • Twig wanted to be called Trick when he was younger, but Noel had a minor speech impediment and ended up calling him Twig, which stuck instead
  • Twig is generally very comfortable with his body, but as soon as he started growing breasts he found a surgeon to remove them for him
  • Twig had sex with Dante the first day they knew each other as thanks for saving him, which was the first time he’d actually enjoyed sex with someone
  • Once Twig and Dante are married, Twig plans to start giving away most of his salary because he knows Dante would like to be able to support them financially
  • Flowers are Twig’s favourite thing. Ideally he’d have them in every room and in his clothes too, but he doesn’t want to have to clean up fallen petals all the time
  • Twig has had a lot of transactional or coerced sex with authority figures and though he is not upset about that because it’s just the reality of life, he was very touched when he realized that Owen was never going to expect sex from him in exchange for decency, courtesy, favours, support or affection. That said, he will fuck Owen in a heartbeat if Owen wants to, because he knows it would just be for fun
  • Twig does not think he talks about Dante as often as other people do, because he talks twice as much as other people so mentioning Dante twenty times a day isn’t that big a deal, especially when he misses him

Modern AU: Modern Twig was put in juvenile detention when a police sting operation arrested and killed several members of his family’s gang. He was charged with participating in gang activity because they couldn’t stick any actual crimes to him, and when he was released, he was put in a halfway house for violent youth, where he was given no privacy or respect as a human being. Twig made the best of it, playing basketball at his new school because someone told him he was too short to play, and made some great friends and teammates there, one of whom introduced him to Owen and Gavin Trapp-ven Sancte, who subsequently rescued him from the group home and his shitty caseworker, and gave him a home where he was respected by default and was assumed to have the right to privacy, which he often chooses not to exercise. Twig now lives with them and their family and his boyfriend, attending school and only stealing stuff when he feels like it. He can’t decide if he wants to be a lawyer or a sex worker when he graduates from school, but he might aim for both. When he’s not studying or playing sports, Twig spends as much time as he can with Dante and is currently reading Homestuck with him, but also likes to graffiti on public buildings, find plainclothes cops and blow their covers, and break into ‘employees only’ spaces and pretend that the door was open.

4 thoughts on “Character Profile: Twig

  1. You know Twig is a protagonist because he actually has a chance in hell of successfully reforming a law enforcement organization from within. That just doesn’t happen without plot armor, and plenty of it.


    1. Yeah, fortunately Twig seems to have acquired that in spades lately…though in his defence, he worked pretty hard to become a protagonist so that he could be given that leeway with the universe! Even with all that, he has a hard road in front of him, so hopefully he can do it.



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