Villager, 10

Sometimes Violence Is the Answer, but A Spanking Is Often Enough

Ao3 Link

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“Okay but they know you’re not really going to kill us,” said Odin, who really felt that the knife pressed against his neck could be pressed just a little bit less hard against his neck. Or actually that it could be pressed anywhere else, like against a piece of cheese. “Because once you do that then there’ll be literally nothing to stop them from coming in here and beating the shit out of you and they aren’t even going to care that you have backup, which you don’t, actually.”

“Shut up,” Crossbones said, jostling Odin a little, nicking him with the knife. “They care about their kids. They won’t want them to be hurt. Open the window and tell them not to come any closer.”

“Okay,” said the boy nearest the window, who Odin somehow remembered was called Bloodrune. “But, Crossbones…”

“There’s no but,” snapped Crossbones. “Just do it.”

“I will! But there’s a monster out there with them!”

“What the fuck are you on about?” Crossbones asked, jerking his head at the window. Another boy went over there, pushing Bloodrune’s head down to see out the window.

“Uh.” The boy went pale everywhere except the redness around his neck tattoo. “Well. There’s a guy with big horns and wings and a tail just kind of standing there? He looks mad as fuck, though, like. I don’t think he’s just going to stand there for long.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Crossbones took the knife away from Odin and went to look out the window too. “Oh. What the fuck?”

“What’s going on?” Odin asked, coming over. He didn’t know anyone with horns and wings. “Let me see.”

“No, fuck off,” Crossbones said, pushing Odin.

“Hey, don’t push him,” said Murph.

“Oh shit, he’s coming closer.”

“We didn’t answer him! Say something!”

“Fuck.” Crossbones threw the window up, wincing at the sound it made. “Stay where you are or we’ll kill your kids! And if you don’t all back off now, the rest of the Brotherhood is going to burn your town to the ground!”

“So is it stay here?” asked Grandpa Lionel. “Or back off?” He said something else, but Odin couldn’t make it out from back here.

Murph put his hand on Odin’s wrist, then raised his eyebrows suggestively at Pierre. Odin looked at Pierre too and saw that yes, he was still tied up cutely, and then realized that now all the bandits were looking at the window and nobody was looking at them. Odin got an idea, and he pointed at Pierre excitedly. He and Murph hurried over to him and started untying him, and though Odin accidentally made the knots knottier at first, they eventually got Pierre untied.

Then Murph pointed at the door, which wasn’t guarded at the moment. Pierre nodded and snuck towards it.

“Hey!” said the boy from the basement, noticing them just as Pierre opened the door. “Stop!”

The Brotherhood charged over to them, and Pierre tried to run out but got pulled back in. Someone hit Murph. “Get your fucking hands off them,” Odin growled, getting in between the bandits and Murph and Pierre.

Then something really pointy happened and Odin fell to the floor, a lot of pain in his shoulder and Crossbones wasn’t holding his knife anymore, but he sure looked terrified and it was probably because his knife was in Odin’s shoulder, which was a bad place for a knife to be because it hurt a fucking lot and Odin fell down. “Odin!”

Murph was there beside him. “Shit,” he said. He had a black eye for some reason. Probably because it made him look badass. “Shit. It’s not as serious as it looks but we need to get him some help.”

“Is he going to be okay?” asked Pierre. His lip was split.

“I didn’t mean to fucking…he got in the way…” Crossbones was saying.

The ground was shaking under Odin, and the air felt warmer. He sat up. “Odin, don’t move.”

Odin shook his head, looking at Murph’s bruise, and at Pierre’s lip. He grabbed Crossbones’s wrist and pulled him to the floor. “Holy shit, Odin…”

“Stop hurting people,” Odin practically hissed in anger. He pulled Crossbones right over his lap, and yanked his pants down. He smacked his ass. “Stop.” He smacked again. “Hurting.” One more. “People.”

“Ow, ow!” Crossbones wriggled, but he didn’t move out of Odin’s lap, and Odin spanked him with his uninjured arm. Not that much, just ten times, just so he’d stop being a jerk.

“Now you apologize,” Odin said, glaring as best he could. His head was tingling weirdly. He wasn’t angry anymore, but the other bandits were all watching, and for this to work, they had to think he was.

“Fuck…fuck you!”

Odin started spanking him again, ten more times. “You and your friends have caused a lot of problems for everyone and you’ve hurt people. Why would you do that, you little jerk? Apologize.”

“I’m not…I’m not going to…”

Odin kept spanking him, two, five, seven, ten more times again. “None of this had to happen! You could have just asked for help!”

“I’m sorry!”

Odin stopped spanking Crossbones, let him get up, stand up. He pulled his pants up, humiliation on his face. “What are you sorry for?” he asked, wanting to cross his arms, but not actually able to move the other arm and when he looked at it there was a lot of blood on his chest, so he stopped looking and went back to glaring.

“For…for stabbing you. And for kidnapping you and for hurting everyone. I’m sorry for scaring everyone in your stupid town, okay? We’ll just leave and go fucking…starve to death somewhere. Just let us go.”

“Nobody said you had to starve to death,” Murph said, giving a half-smile. “You can come live in Great Scar.”

“Yeah, sure we can,” said the boy from the basement. “Like we’d want to live in your town full of demons even if they wouldn’t eat us alive.”

“Nobody in Great Scar is a demon.” Odin looked up, saw Grandpa Lionel standing in the doorway. Or, Odin was pretty sure that was his grandfather. He was pretty sure Lionel hadn’t had horns and wings and stuff last time they’d seen each other.

“Grandpa?” Odin asked, just to make sure.

“Hey there, Odin.” Lionel came in, followed by Murph’s dads, then followed by Odin’s parents, then followed by Uncle Oscar and Aunt Tina and Grandma Ophelia, and none of them seemed worried that Grandpa Lionel had horns like the dragons in Owen’s letters, so Odin decided that it must be something he’d just never noticed before now. “Looks like you’ve got this under control.”

“Uh, not really,” said Odin, wondering why everyone was staring at him, which they were. “I got stabbed. The Brotherhood of the Tinkle isn’t that scary, actually. It’s just some kids who are hungry. I spanked Crossbones and he seems better now. We should probably just spank the rest of them too and they’ll probably stop being bandits.”

“Uh. We’re good,” said Bloodrune, holding up his hands. “We don’t need spankings. Point made.”

“No, you need spankings, lad,” said Tomas, looking disapprovingly at them. “Why’d you do all this?”

“Can we ask that later?” asked Dad, crouching in front of Pierre. “We need to get the boys home and get them some clothes. They didn’t hurt you, did they?”

“Nope!” said Pierre. “Except for my lip, but I’m fine! Odin getting stabbed probably hurt, but he was super cool when he got mad and grew horns and stuff! Is everyone in the family growing horns? Can I be next?”

Huh? Odin looked up and didn’t see any horns, but when he touched his head, there were some horns, growing out from his hair. “Wait, when did I get horny?”

“Don’t know,” said Murph, touching one. “But it’s hot.”

Odin blushed, then looked around. “Oh! Me and Murph are boyfriends now, everyone.” It seemed important to tell everyone that, even if they were just pretending. It would make it seem more realistic. “And I still have all my fingers, so I can still talk in sign language. Also I think some of Tommy’s potatoes are mouldy.”

“Okay,” said Mom, coming over and putting a hand on Odin’s forearm. “Honey, you’re going into shock. You need to come here and sit down.”

“Why?” Odin asked, following her to the chair Pierre had been tied to. “Nothing shocking is happening, right? We beat the bandits. We should give them jobs and food. Then they’ll probably stop doing crime. Oh, this chair is spinning a lot, maybe Tommy should get better chairs.”

“Hey,” said Murph, kneeling beside Odin and taking his hand. “Listen, Odin.”

“I’m listening,” Odin promised, nodding, which made him almost fall down, but he caught himself on Murph’s eyes.

“I love you.”

Odin blinked, all the blood that hadn’t already fallen out of his body rushing to his face and his dick. “Oh. Awesome. I love you too actually, and…”

Someone pulled Crossbones’s knife out of Odin’s shoulder and that hurt a lot, but only for a second before he passed out.

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