—
“I’m just saying that I could have caught that fly ball,” Todd complained, as Uncle Spencer keyed through all the house security. “And nobody pays me millions of dollars run around a field.”
“No, but people do pay you to do a job that requires higher than average hand-eye coordination and athletic ability,” Uncle Spencer reminded him.
Todd rolled his eyes as they went inside, putting their palmprints on the scanner one at a time. “And they pay him more to do a job that also requires that, and he still missed the catch. I’m a better fucking catcher than he is.”
“We’re home,” Derek called as they walked inside. Todd tossed his hat to the hook, hands behind his head as he wandered in. Sam and Henry weren’t around.
“Did they go out?” Spencer asked.
“Don’t know,” Todd said, looking around. There was no note, and he didn’t have a text from either of them. “Don’t think so. Not on purpose, anyway.”
“Security was all still engaged,” Derek muttered.
Todd nodded, slipping his hand behind a couch cushion and into a secret compartment. There was a dull sound from upstairs. He pulled out the gun that was in there, caught the clip Derek tossed at him and loaded it. They had just finished getting all the security upgraded. It would be really fucking annoying if someone had already broken in and done something.
Carefully, the three of them went up the stairs. Uncle Spencer pointed each of them towards a room, and Todd went to his, the master bedroom. He pushed the door open.
And was greeted by Henry’s naked ass moving as he and Sam fucked. “Oh, gross, ew,” Todd said, turning away.
“What?” Henry looked up. “Oh, hi, Todd. You’re back early.”
“No, I’m back on time, put some clothes on!”
“Why?” Sam asked, partially sitting up. “That would make it a bit hard for us to keep having sex.”
“Gross!” Todd informed them, stepping back. He should really just shoot them both, honestly. “Gross, gross. I thought you were dismembered or something!”
“What’s going on…oh. Guys, ew.” Derek crossed his arms, glaring at them. “There are children present.”
“Oh, you kill people for a living, get over it,” Sam said.
“Besides, it’s nothing you haven’t seen before in the gym.”
“Gross,” Todd explained, pulling the door shut. “Ugh. We should have gone out for pizza.”
“You were the one who wanted to come home,” Derek reminded him.
Scowling, Todd just went downstairs. “Hey,” said Spencer. “I guess it runs in the family.”
“What does?” Todd said, not sensing the trap.
“You and Sam are both better catchers than a professional baseball player.”
Todd put his hands over his ears. “Gross, Uncle Spencer, that’s your brother, gross!”
Uncle Spencer laughed at him all the way down to the kitchen, where Todd drank all the orange juice to forget that this day had had a second half.
—
How Best to Use a Sword 