—
Isaac’s lower back kind of hurt, but it was nothing that couldn’t be resolved by laying on his back for a few hours, which he’d get to do a little later.
“Nice costume,” said a passing Jedi, pausing to admire Isaac.
Isaac smiled. “Thank you. Yours is awesome too.” The Jedi had shortened his robes so Isaac could see his lightsaber. Everyone knew there was no underwear in space, so it was pretty accurate.
Wait, Isaac recognized that lightsaber. “Hey, Oliver!” He gave Oliver a hug. “I didn’t know you were coming.”
Oliver shrugged. “Last minute decision, sort of. Which is why my costume doesn’t fit.”
“I think it fits perfectly,” Isaac told him, grinning.
“So does yours. Where’d you get the idea to dress as Deanna Troi and Captain Picard at the same time?”
“From watching Star Trek, obviously,” Isaac said with a giggle, doing a twirl. “It was a crime against fashion that only she got to wear the skintight unitard, so I thought it would be fun if Picard got to wear one too.”
“Not even going to bother telling you that they wore underwear in the show. It looks like you got everything else pretty on-point.”
Isaac had spent a long time working on it. “Thanks. I had a little help from Jackie, he’s really into Star Trek, and…” he heard two guys arguing behind him, peered over. Looked like He-Man and Bakugo Katsuki were getting into it.
“Isaac, you don’t need to…”
“Of course I do. I’m the ship’s councillor,” Isaac said, waving at Oliver. “Hold my place in line?” He didn’t want to miss out on getting into this part of the con, because this part of the con was lunch and he was hungry.
Isaac went back a few people, walking like Deanna Troi at first, but deciding that Picard’s march was better as he got closer. “This is my fucking place in line, you shitty eighties ripoff,” Bakugo was growling.
“I was here first, you foul fiend, and I won’t have you shoving me out of my rightful place!”
“I’m going to shove that cheap-ass sword right up your dick is what I’m going to do.”
Everyone around them seemed really uncomfortable, Isaac thought. “Hey,” he said. “You don’t need to fight.”
They both looked at him, did a double take. “You stay out of this,” Bakugo warned.
Isaac smiled. “No. I can sense you’re both stressed and hungry, but maybe you should talk about it instead of yelling. You’re upsetting everyone else.”
“Fuck that,” said He-Man, crossing his arms. “This lout is trying to take my rightful place in line.”
“And this himbo is trying to pretend I wasn’t here first.” Bakugo paused, looking Isaac up and down. “And your costume sucks. The skintight thing is cool, but Picard is bald, everyone knows that.”
“I’m him from Rascals,” Isaac explained, because he’d known full well that some jerk might try to fault him for not shaving his head. He’d done his hair so specifically. “When he was de-aged by the transporter, remember? And no offence, but it’s not super cool to criticize someone else’s costume when your straps are the wrong shade of red.”
As He-Man went the right shade of red, Isaac gave them both a very captainly look. “Now listen. No more of this fighting. One of you keep this place in line, and one of you go to the back.”
“Why would we…”
“And whichever one—or both—of you goes to the back can come visit the captain’s quarters tonight for a debriefing,” Isaac finished.
They both looked at him, then at each other. They both went a little more red. Isaac’s outfit was very much skintight.
Bakugo and He-Man both vacated the line and went to the end. Isaac smiled.
“Thanks, man,” said a wizard with a blue, pink and white scarf and a Fuck JKR pin. “I thought I was going to have to kill one of them.”
“No problem,” Isaac said, pointing to his collar. “But it’s not ‘man,’ it’s ‘captain.’”
He winked, the wizard laughed, and Isaac went back to rejoin Oliver. The line had moved a little. “All sorted out?” Oliver asked.
“Yeah, I just needed to pull a little rank.”
“Is that what we’re calling it now?”
Isaac grinned and slipped his hand into Oliver’s. “Hey,” he said. “I don’t have room on my ship for people who don’t respect the captain.”
“Your ship? Is that what you’re calling it now?”
“Stop doing that, I’m trying to be quippy!”
“Is that what you’re…”
“Oliver, that one doesn’t even make sense!”
Oliver kept teasing him, though, and that was fine. Isaac wouldn’t want to get a big head, just because he was the captain.
—
How Best to Use a Sword 