—
“I don’t know,” Doggy said, taking the hat off and putting another one. “I think this one is better?”
“They…both look very nice on you, Doggy,” Niall said, sounding confused. “They’re also nearly identical.”
“Nearly but not totally and I think this one makes my eyes look fat,” Doggy explained, frowning at himself in the mirror. “What do you think?”
“I don’t think eyes can be fat,” Niall told him. “Just get both if you’re so uncertain.”
Doggy looked at him. “I can’t do that, deciding is half the fun!”
“Oh.” Niall looked at his feet. He’d been feeling a little sad and not-there this morning, so Doggy had kingnapped him to take him shopping so he’d feel better. He looked up, making a determined face at the hats. His determined faces were so cute, and the made the same ones when he was deciding if he liked dicks with or without pubic hair or if he was deciding if he should spend a million gold coins on roads or sewers. “I like that one better,” he said, pointing to the one in Doggy’s hand. “It doesn’t make your eyes look fat, and it frames your face nicely.”
Doggy beamed. It had only taken him an hour in the market to get Niall to join in mentally. “Awesome, I’ll take this one,” he said, putting the other hat back on the table. He gave the coins to the owner and sauntered off with his new hat, hand in Niall’s. “Oh, look! Let’s go look at those scarves!”
“Okay?” Niall asked, letting Doggy drag him across the road to another stall. “Don’t you already have several scarves? I see them around your room all the time.”
“Yeah, but I like looking at new ones,” Doggy explained, fingering them mostly to feel the fabric. “Sometimes they’re all I wear, so it’s good to have variety. This is cute.” It was pink, which wasn’t actually his colour, but he wrapped it around his neck anyway.
Niall was looking at the scarves hopelessly, so Doggy pulled a blue one down for him, made him put it on. “What do you think of that colour?”
“I…don’t know?” Niall asked, looking at it. “It’s nice?”
“You don’t like it?”
“I said it was nice?”
“Yeah, but like…” Doggy shrugged. “You said it in that way you say things are nice when you’re trying to be nice.”
“I very rarely try to be nice,” Niall reminded him.
Doggy snickered. “I know. What about this one?” He gave Niall a green one instead.
“Uh…”
“Don’t say both. We only have enough money for one each.”
“That’s demonstrably untrue,” Niall said, picking up a darker one and considering it. “We have a lot of money.”
“Yeah, but the point of shopping is that you only spend some money so you can still afford food after,” Doggy told him.
“We don’t have to buy anything, though,” Niall said.
“Yeah, but that’s no fun. That one’s really nice.”
“Thank you. I’ve never…bought things for myself before,” Niall admitted. “Usually people get things for me.”
“Yeah, well, you’re poor now and you have your own money, so you can buy your own stuff!” Doggy grinned.
“That doesn’t make any sense,” Niall complained, which he often did when Doggy explained something to him.
Doggy kissed him. “Just go with it.”
Niall sighed. “Fine. I don’t like that pink one, it’s bad for your complexion. You’d look nicer in something more like this.” He gave Doggy the blue one Doggy had first put on Niall. “And…I like this one.” He put down the dark red one he’d been looking at and picked up something that was closer to black.
Doggy beamed. “Me too. Makes you look all serious and junk.”
“Thank you. I don’t normally wear a scarf at serious events.”
“You could start?” Doggy said, offering the weaver three coins. He took their two scarves and the dark red one too. “Here, take this one too.”
“What? Doggy, you said we only had enough for one each!”
Doggy kissed him again, wrapped the second scarf around his neck. “It doesn’t count if you’re buying stuff for someone else.”
“That’s not how money works,” Niall protested, letting Doggy pull him down the street again.
“Yes it is! Oh, look, corsets! You’ve worn a corset before, right? Let’s try them on and see how skinny we can make ourselves!”
Doggy looked over his shoulder at Niall as they went, and he saw Niall smiling. And that was all Doggy had wanted, really. It was worth any amount of money.
Niall would freak out if Doggy told him that, though, and he’d start explaining renewable versus finite resources again. So he’d wait until tonight, when he’d gotten Niall drunk, to explain to him that smiles were worth more than gold.
—
How Best to Use a Sword 