Character Profile: Arky

Name: Ayrkanumone, Archimedes Menner (Modern AU)

Aliases/AKAs: Arky, Runner

Title(s): N/A

Hair Colour: N/A (brown)

Eye Colour: N/A (brown)

Height: 7.5 cm/167 cm

Weight: 0.1 g/55 kg

Build: Ephemeral/skinny

Distinguishing Marks: An entirely yellow body that is slightly translucent in low light

Dick Size: Below average

Relationships (Romantic and/or Sexual): Cal, Wes, Mick, Sully, Travis, Joey, Beatrice, Lillian, Ray, Bob (voyees)

Family Relationships: Mathilda (master), Shynda Techen Ke’Arthene (former master, deceased)

Sexuality: Gay

Preferred Positions: On someone’s shoulder, on someone’s stomach

Kinks: Voyeurism

Orgies Attended: The Great Pelican Bay Orgy, The Stag Keep Orgy

Bio: Raised on the streets of the city of Thunder’s Falls, the boy known at the time as Runner survived by carrying messages back and forth between temples in exchange for coins, and by running away from other kids when they wanted to beat him up for stealing their stuff. When he was a teenager, a priestess at the temple to the Lady of White asked Runner if he wanted a better job and took him into the temple, where he discovered that the god Shynda Techen Ke’Arthene, a star god, had read his true name in the stars and determined that he was fated to serve her. Runner was then killed in a sacrificial ritual and his soul resurrected in the form of a small imp. Shynda renamed him Ayrkanumone, a pre-Har’Chezt word meaning ‘librarian,’ and established him as the keeper of her considerable library and all the knowledge within it. When Shynda was killed in the Catechism War, Ayrkanumone escaped the collapse of her library and was trapped in his box, and was passed around by a few different people for a few hundred years before coming into the possession of a dragon matriarch commonly called Mathilda, to whom he has belonged since. His new owner gives Ayrkanumone more interesting work than anyone else has in his past, and considerably more freedom to explore his own interests, so he feels he’s in a good place at the moment.


  • Runner used to steal to survive, but only food and only from people who had enough. He also sometimes stole clothes, but only of people he wanted to see naked
  • Runner sometimes made up stories about his parents’ deaths to make people feel bad for him. In reality, he knew that his parents were alcoholics who’d abandoned him at birth
  • The ritual that killed Runner and created Ayrkanumone involved Runner’s heart being cut out while he was still alive. He can sometimes still feel it beating and thinks that if whatever container it’s in was destroyed, he’d probably die
  • Ayrkanumone is immortal, indestructible, extremely strong, unimpeded by physical barriers and most magical ones, has an eidetic memory, including of all the books that were ever in Shynda’s library, is selectively venomous to touch, learns any language as soon as he hears it, can teleport across vast distances without trouble, is entirely imperceptible when he doesn’t want to be perceived. He can also assume his old human form for upwards of an hour, though this tires him out
  • When Shynda died, Ayrkanumone wasn’t her only imp servant; she had at least six others. He doesn’t know what became of them and has never found them, but he knows they escaped Shynda’s hold before he absorbed it and made it part of himself
  • Ayrkanumone has belonged to twelve different people since Shynda died, none of whom used him to his full potential; most of them just wanted a messenger
  • Ayrkanumone’s power and form linked to both the Web and Shynda’s hold, and therefore don’t fully work outside of Nova; the first time Mathilda took him to Earth, he was as surprised as anyone to be reverted to human form without having to expend any energy
  • Arky genuinely enjoys spending time with Cal, and especially likes that Cal has given him a human-sounding nickname. It’s the first time in thousands of years he’s been able to interact with humans like he was one
  • Arky has absorbed so much knowledge over the centuries that it mostly bores him and he often doesn’t even bother repeating it to anyone unless they ask. This isn’t because he doesn’t care, but because he struggles to realize why anyone might find the things he knows interesting. The only things he consistently still finds interesting are sex and the movements of celestial bodies
  • Arky isn’t necessarily opposed to the world ending, but all the people he works for are, so he’s working his hardest to help them stop it


  • “Don’t tell him that. Now he’s going to call me all the time.”
  • “I’ll have you know I’m highly venomous, asshole.”
  • “I’m not sure she understands the emotion of panic. She’s a dragon. I’m not sure she understands any emotions aside from pissed, possessive and horny.”
  • “You know what makes you happy? Orgasms. You could have been having interspecies threesomes every night the whole fucking way to the Citadel and instead I had to jack off to fantasies like a fucking tool.”
  • “Fuck. I’m…I’m a vast repository of historical knowledge, okay? My soul is ancient and I’m way more powerful and dangerous than I look; I’m an incomprehensible force beyond human understanding.”
  • “You really have to get away from this guy. He’s bad news.”
  • “Don’t go speaking my mind for me.”
  • “I’ll step on your dick in your sleep.”
  • “Someone’s gone and cast a fuck-spell on the room. To make sure nobody runs out of spunk too soon. Whoever did it is kind of a genius, actually, you should build him a statue or let him fuck whoever he wants or something, he’s basically saving the world here.”
  • “Thank you, I was about to gag at all that gross emotion junk.”
  • “You’ve got a future as a dragon cumrag.”
  • “I think the Map was resisting it. The Map of Amker isn’t just an object. I think it’s alive, Cal.”
  • “If I die, it’s your fault.”


  • As a child, other children used to make Runner kneel for them so they could stand on him to reach high things. He always swore he’d be taller than them all one day
  • Runner didn’t like Thunder’s Falls much. He was, however, devastated when he learned it had been destroyed
  • Runner was always deemed too small to be horny with the other boys he knew; the day before he was killed he was allowed to join them so they could all jerk off on his face
  • Ayrkanumone is pretty sure the spells that created him don’t allow him to be resentful of his status as a possession. He doesn’t resent this knowledge, either
  • Shynda once told Ayrkanumone that she wouldn’t always be his owner. It was the only time she ever spoke to him as though he were a person, and he still wonders why
  • Ayrkanumone generally likes to tell people he’s watched them have sex, which makes him feel better about doing it. He does often neglect to mention it until after he’s done it several times, however
  • Arky has allowed all of his owners, including Mathilda, believe that his creation spells prevent him from harming or lying to his owner. This is not true
  • When Arky takes human form, he naturally appears at the age Runner was when he died. He has to expend extra energy to change that
  • Arky very rarely wants to participate in sex, deriving great satisfaction from watching and commentating. He has started to think it might be fun to join in on one of Cal’s orgies, though
  • Arky is literally a librarian at heart and nothing annoys him more than books being mistreated, though information being categorized in a sloppy or unhelpful manner is a close second

Modern AU: Going by the name Archimedes Menner when he accompanies Mathilda to Earth, Arky mostly acts as her secretary there, performing menial tasks like driving her places and picking up her groceries. He also spies on the Earth counterpart of Calvin Tanner, reporting to Mathilda whenever it seems like he might be preparing to destroy the Earth. He enjoys spending time on Earth because he can enjoy his human form without expending any energy, allowing him to not only watch humans but also participate in their activities, though often he finds this to be more work than just spying on them. When he’s not pursuing Mathilda’s agenda on Earth, Arky explores old buildings with Cal’s team and often ends up being the one to go in gross tunnels first, and pretends to be a high school student, absorbing the knowledge of another world just for fun. He also enjoys locker rooms, fast food, F1 racing and having unlimited access to high-quality pornography.

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