—
“It weird,” Donny declared, arms crossed.
Louie sighed. Donny was a prince, so he thought he was right about everything, but he was also little. A whole year younger than Louie. A whole year. “No,” he explained, making a serious face. “It’s important. Lots of big boys doing it.”
Donny was pouting. “Feddik is big,” he said, after a second. “He isn’t do it.”
“Yes he is.” Louie didn’t know if that was true, but he had seen Frederick doing sex with Silas like Odin did with Murph and like lots of grown-ups did with each other.
In the face of Louie’s superior logic, Donny just scowled. “It weird,” he repeated.
“You have to does it anyway,” Louie told him, pulling Donny over to the stepstool leading up to his horse. His horse teacher wasn’t here yet, but that made it easier, and when he got here he’d praise Louie for getting Donny up on the horse like a good friend. He’d heard Donny’s brother Franz talking with Owen and Gavin about something called a companion and Louie didn’t know what that was, but he thought he’d make a good one, and good companions probably made princes go on horses.
“You can’ts make me,” Donny told Louie, as Louie made him. “I’s is a pwince.”
“Well I’m a dragon,” Louie told Donny. His grandpa was a dragon and Odin and Pierre sometimes said that meant they were dragons too, and if they got to be dragons, Louie also got to be a dragon. “And princes has to listen to dragons or they’ll get eated.”
“But I’s is a dwagen too!” Donny insisted. “I is fwy and have wings wike Whoosh!”
Louie didn’t think it was fair that Donny got to be a dragon and a prince. “Well dragons knows how to be horny.”
“I doesn’t have hormses yet.”
Louie giggled at that. “Horny is when you’re good at putting stuffs in your butt. Like big boys and dragons.”
“Oh.” Donny looked at the little plug Louie had put on his saddle for him. “Fine. I be hormy.”
“Good,” Louie said, helping Donny into his saddle. Donny got up, and Louie undid the back of his special pants for him, so he could sit on the plug, which had lots of slippery oil on it.
Donny made a face as he sat on it and Louie had to help him sit all the way down, but Donny eventually did. Beaming, Louie kissed him as a reward, because that was what big boys did to reward each other for being good. “Feels funny,” Donny told him.
“It feel good later,” Louie promised, kissing Donny again, because kissing him was fun. “Promise.”
“Okay,” Donny said, not sounding convinced.
His horse teacher got there afterwards and scolded them for not being safe, even though Louie was being perfectly safe. But it was okay, because he got to sit and watch Donny practice horse riding, making weird faces the whole time as he practiced that and being horny at the same time.
Louie was very proud of himself. He was helping Donny get horny and teaching him who was the boss all at once. Now he’d know who the real dragon prince was.
—
How Best to Use a Sword 