Character Profile: Stuart

Name: Stuart son of Shawn, Stuart Parker-Klien (Modern AU) 

Aliases/AKAs: Night Duck, Watchboy 

Title(s): Squire of the Dolovin order 

Hair Colour: Strawberry blonde 

Eye Colour: Hazel 

Height: 154 cm 

Weight: 49 kg 

Build: Petite 

Distinguishing Marks: N/A 

Dick Size: Above average 

Relationships (Romantic and/or Sexual): Holly (friend with benefits), Sir David (mentor), Sir Edwin the Stalwart (friend/crush) 

Family Relationships: Shawn son of Samuel (father), Samantha daughter of Stella (sister), Sergio son of Samuel (uncle), Sloan and Sigmund sons of Sergio (cousins), Stella of Ark’s Row (mother, deceased), Scott son of Shawn (brother, deceased as an infant), the Dolovin order (chosen family) 

Sexuality: Bisexual 

Preferred Positions: Doggy style 

Kinks: Praise kink, food kink 

Orgies Attended: City Guard Preparatory Class Orgies, Regular Squire OrgiesThe Great Pelican Bay OrgyThe Squires’ Pre-Anointing OrgyThe Stag Keep Orgy

Bio: The son of a Three Hills city guardsman, Stuart was raised in the environment of the guardhouse by his father and uncle, planning to become a member of the city guard like they wanted him to when he got older. After a hazing incident that convinced him he didn’t want to be part of the guard, Stuart instead enrolled in the training school for knights, and is now a squire under Sir David and a member of Prince Gavin’s bodyguard. Stuart has learned more about himself the longer he’s served as a squire and though he knows his family is disappointed in him, he is happy with the decisions he’s made in life. 


  • Stuart was raised to believe that people are either inherently good or bad, and that it’s the job of good people to punish bad people. He still believes the second half of that, but thinks the first half misses the mark 
  • Stuart was taught to fight with a sword and lance as a young boy. He still doesn’t like using a lance, mostly because his uncle was his lance teacher 
  • Stuart was raised to be aggressive, pushy and demanding, and to act like he was owed things. He makes a consistent effort now not to behave this way 
  • Stuart’s cousins were his closest friends as children; he currently has no contact with them and is disappointed by that 
  • When Stuart and his cousins were made trainee guards, about two weeks into their training, they and some other trainees were subjected to a traditional hazing ritual in which they were given way too much alcohol and then spun around on a turntable and made to suck the dick of whoever they were facing. Stuart has very little memory of this night, but he does remember being made to suck his dad’s cock. Going through this was what convinced him to quit and join the training school instead—he figured that if he was going to be someone’s sex toy, at least it wouldn’t be a relative in the order 
  • It took Stuart several weeks to make friends in the training school because he was nervous and already trained, and everyone interpreted that as him being arrogant. It was only after he was seriously injured in a lance accident that the other students warmed up to him. He has had a crush on Edwin since Edwin first brought him food while he was recovering from his accident. He didn’t realize until very recently that that was what it was 
  • A few months after Stuart joined the training school, his uncle Sergio became the captain of the city guard. His family tried to make him come back to the guard and Stuart was happy to refuse 
  • Stuart’s sister Samantha was the only person who supported him becoming a knight. She’s currently a student at the mages’ academy and they see each other whenever their days off overlap 
  • Stuart has feelings for Holly but knows she doesn’t have any back, so he’s trying not to be weird about it 
  • Stuart’s original career goal was anything that would take him out of the city. Now that he’s been out of the city, he’s realized he’s happy to be Gavin’s bodyguard for the rest of his career 


  • “Seems like all those servants the prince is hauling around could be doing this for us.” 
  • “Just saying, in the stories they tell you about knights, they kill dragons. They don’t wash laundry.” 
  • “You really are cute, you know, Drew.” 
  • “Am I the only person in the world who doesn’t like people with the same parts as me?” 
  • “You think I’m going near him when he’s like that? You’ve sucked his dick, he probably won’t disembowel you.” 
  • “That was a one-time thing, I think. Three times. But…anyway.” 
  • “Not everyone is as numb to you as we are, sir.” 
  • “Never thought I’d fuck God.” 
  • “Listen I think I like guys.” 
  • “I just…I don’t know, I liked it more than I thought I would, and…something Cal said to me. He said…new experiences make us who we are, and like. Don’t fucking laugh, okay? I thought it was kind of profound or whatever, and he’s God and stuff, so…” 
  • “Hey, don’t judge me! I’ve got a lot of time to make up!” 
  • “Edwin deserves it. He was amazing out there, you guys should have seen him.” 
  • “It’s an occupational skill for us, too. Or, I guess we’re on sabbatical until we get our own squires?” 


  • As a kid, Stuart only ever wore hand-me-downs from Sigmund, who is his age but bigger. Now, he still won’t buy new clothes, preferring things that have been worn and discarded by others  
  • Stuart thought he knew his way around Three Hills due to his family business, but realized after joining the school that he only knew his way around the most major streets 
  • Stuart and his cousins used to sneak into public baths and spy on the women there; his first sexual experience was jerking off with his cousins while they watched two women kiss in one 
  • Stuart likes being out in the rain, but can’t stand wearing wet clothes as soon as he comes inside 
  • Stuart learned to read by reading the Dolovin legal codes 
  • Stuart learned not to mind sex with boys in the training school, though it took him a while to be okay giving head. He never thought he actually liked sex with boys until recently 
  • Stuart had a girlfriend named Deborah for the last year of training, but she broke up with him because she thought he was too pushy 
  • Stuart accidentally called David “dad” once and absolutely refuses to talk about it 
  • The first time Stuart had sex with Holly, he was afraid she was going to kill him. He’d hoped that would turn him on. It didn’t, and subsequent times with her were much better for him 
  • It has been Stuart’s lifelong dream to have a giant bear tattooed on his back 

Modern AU: Modern Stuart comes from a military family and has chosen not to enter the military himself, in no small part because he thinks most of his family are bullies and realizes that they were teaching him to be one too. He is now a first-year university student planning to major in philosophy. Because he was cut off from his family, Stuart lives in his university dorms for now and works part-time as a waiter at the sports-themed restaurant Ball Boys. When he isn’t working or in school, Stuart volunteers as an assistant coach for a kids’ community basketball team, goes on dates with people he meets on different apps, and runs a weirdly popular Twitter account where all he does is post videos of himself getting dressed and undressed every day. 

2 thoughts on “Character Profile: Stuart

  1. ACAB. Thankfully Stuart realized that and left before they could corrupt him.

    It would be ironic and appropriate if he became friends with Twig.


    1. ACAB indeed. Stuart’s a good egg and realized he was in the wrong line of work just in time. Being a knight is pretty similar, but considerably less sketchy in many ways.

      I think Stuart and Twig would make great friends tbh. Get a start on healing that family feud that Stuart’s uncle seems determined to start. It would be amazing and very appropriate, I agree.

      Thank you!


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