Character Profile: Kelvin

Name: Kelvin J. Fluffypaws

Aliases/AKAs: Kel, Sellet

Title(s): Captain, Temporal Bureau, Department of Temporal Law Enforcement

Fur Colour: White

Eye Colour: Green

Height: 91 cm

Weight: 14 kg

Build: Agile

Distinguishing Marks: Grey stripes, heart-shaped caste mark on his right cheek

Dick Size: Large

Relationships (Romantic and/or Sexual): Wendel (husband)

Family Relationships: Ralinda and Kevros Fluffypaws (parents), Roberto C. Johnson, Michael Bloodcliff, several others (department)

Sexuality: Taill

Preferred Positions: Seated, partner kneeling before him

Kinks: Bondage, handcuffs, role play

Orgies Attended: Hurrok Ritual Orgies, Galactic Petting Orgies, Temporal Fluxing Orgies

Bio: Born to two politicians in Yose’Ke Demesne on the planet Jell’Kill, Kelvin’s birth causes a scandal as his caste mark proves that one of his parents lied about their caste to become a politician. He is taken away from his family and raised by a shadowy cabal that teaches him all the skills an assassin needs, and becomes very competent at killing people. As a teenager, Kelvin is assigned a job to assassinate an explorer who is in danger of exploring too far, only to discover that he is a figure of immense historical significance, and that multiple time travellers have come from the future to protect him. Kelvin kills the time travellers and, because his target has escaped, uses one of their time machines to go back in time and kill the target, only to be intercepted by the Temporal Bureau, who inform him he’s committed a temporal crime by altering the past. Kelvin then goes back in time again and tells himself not to go back in time, and helps the Temporal Bureau arrest the time travellers, allowing himself to kill his target naturally, which he decides not to do after being recruited into the Temporal Bureau, his disappearance from Jell’Kill causing another scandal. In the Bureau, Kelvin joins the Department of Temporal Law Enforcement, eventually being raised to the captaincy. He is known for his dedication to his people’s well being and his strictly orthodox approach to breaking the rules whenever he feels like it. In his personal life, he is married to a time mafia member named Wendel, and the two of them live in a tower on a cliff at the end of Jell’Kill’s lifespan, where every day after work they sit together and watch the world end.


  • Kelvin’s name means “bringer of plagues” in the language to which the sounds are native. He is consistently dismayed to learn that the same combination of sounds tends to mean something in the vicinity of ‘cute and cuddly’ in every other language in the universe
  • Kelvin is part of a Bureau task force dedicated to making sure that the highly dangerous invaders from outside of time, natively classified as higher demons, ω-class entities and many other names, do not destroy the universe. They have brainstormed several strategies to get rid of them, and are currently trying to analyse a rare instance of a weaker such entity being permanently killed on Nova to see if it can be replicated
  • The people of Jell’Kill are somewhat notorious for their aggression and comfort with violence. Kelvin did not realize these were unusual traits until he began to meet other species and discovered that all the people back home he’d thought of as soft were still more violent than anyone else he was meeting
  • Kelvin started out in the Department of Discipline, but after several incidents in which he was too hard on prisoners, he was transferred to Temporal Law Enforcement
  • Kelvin met Wendel on his sixth mission with Temporal Law Enforcement. He arrested Wendel. He then met Wendel again on his tenth mission, which was the first time Wendel had met him and also the first time they had sex
  • Kelvin was entirely unsurprised when he joined the Bureau and learned that Jell’Kill was destroyed two hundred years after he left. The only surprise was that his people had developed interstellar travel by that time
  • Kelvin was raised and trained to reject his emotions and focus on his work. This trait made him a good officer for a long time, but the longer he did it, the more he realized it didn’t make him a good person. When he stopped doing it and allowed his emotions to guide his work, he was surprised to find it made him an even better officer
  • Kelvin maintains friendships with all the other high-ranking Bureau staff, except Omtal Wake, the captain of the Department of Temporal Coherence, whom he finds hopelessly irritating and vaguely evil
  • When Kelvin and Wendel starting seeing each other seriously, Kelvin considered leaving the Bureau to join the time mafia so they wouldn’t be in conflict. Wendel convinced him that was stupid and that they could do more good on opposite sides than by stacking all their combined talent on one side
  • Kelvin has devoted a not inconsiderable amount of his career to finding out just what the Department of Temporal Coherence is hiding and why, because he’s quite sure it’s not just temporal incoherence
  • When Kelvin was made captain of the Department of Temporal Law Enforcement, he mandated a series of training exercises aimed to bring the combat level of the entire department up, and also secretly to encourage them to think of each other as family. He is pleased to have succeeded on both fronts


  • “You’re out of uniform, Lieutenant.”
  • “I don’t recall your brief for this mission requiring you to do any naked handshakes.”
  • “Oh, calm down, Johnson. I don’t care how many civilians fist you.”
  • “You need to rescue your favourite civilian from the Department of Temporal Coherence.”
  • “What matters is that one of my lieutenants has gone missing.”
  • “Temporally-locked civilians using technology native to their planet and timeline can alter time all they want.”
  • “Everyone with temporal handcuffs works for me.”
  • “No, they were loud and smelled bad and my people didn’t recognize them as civilized, though they probably were. So we killed them all. It was an evil thing for us to do.”
  • “They’re not the Clock.”
  • All your ideas manage to be illegal. You can’t order dinner without breaking temporal law.”
  • “It’s only illegal if you do it.”
  • “Time for you to smarten up and tell me the plan.”


  • After joining the Temporal Bureau and learning about other governments that use things like voting and term limits to choose leaders instead of coordinated assassinations, Kelvin was forced to admit that Jell’Kill is a little behind the times regardless of what the times are
  • Kelvin has always hated that his caste mark is on his face; it made it impossible on Jell’Kill to hide that he was an assassin, which he feels is not a positive quality in an assassin
  • Kelvin was introduced to sex as part of his training, but the first time he did it for fun is with his Bureau training partner Djimm Soch, who is now a lieutenant in the Department of Discipline
  • Kelvin’s species resembles a domesticated animal on seventy planets. He takes comfort in knowing that they are also feared as violent monsters on at least two hundred others
  • Kelvin’s middle initial is an affectation. He doesn’t have a middle name
  • Kelvin thought Wendel was a horny freak of nature until he met other Novan werewolves, then he realized that Wendel’s whole species are horny freaks of nature
  • Kelvin used to think that Bob was the edgiest boy ever who drank poison for fun until he realized that the juice of citrus fruit isn’t poisonous to humans
  • Kelvin redesigned the Bureau’s heavy combat gear not long after taking of the Department of Temporal Law Enforcement. Some people objected to the tails and top-oriented ears on all gear, but they’re a necessary component and he refuses to allow them to be removed
  • Measured in linear time, Kelvin has been with the Temporal Bureau for twelve hundred and six Jell’Kalt years. The normal lifespan for his people is approximately fifty
  • Kelvin likes to take Wendel to planets with canid life forms on them and then treat him as a pet
  • Kelvin likes to order food for his department. They’ve sampled food from over a thousand cultures and time periods by now

Modern AU: On the rare occasions when he visits earth, Kelvin takes on the form of a human boy named Kel, which frustrates him as human ears are in the wrong place. He has recently become interested in whatever several of his operatives see in a temporally locked civilian named Frederick, whom he hopes to meet soon. Though he doesn’t have much time for Earth generally, Kelvin does enjoy its food, especially pizza, and also its pop art, which reminds him of Jell’Kill’s modernist architectural school, which he wanted to join but couldn’t.

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