Silver Bells but Cold

City sidewalks
Become slidewalks
Slick and covered in ice
I was out trying to do Christmas shopping
I was slipping
And I was sliding
Then I flipped once or twice
Shoppers stepping on me as I heard

Silver bells
Silver bells
That’s how I got my concussion
I heard them ring
As there on the pavement I lay

Well, it was snowing
The wind was blowing
Cars were skidding around
There was crashing of bumpers and fenders
In the crosswalk
I got a big shock
How I flew through the air!
And when I finally touched down I could hear

Silver bells
Silver bells
Every bone in my body feels broken
This ain’t no fun
Please call Medic One
And I hope my insurance is paid

I thought of dying
My wife was crying
Police were standing around
Asking “Do you think anything’s broken?”
I said “I think so.”
And they said “Let’s go.”
And we climbed in the car
All the way to the clinic I heard

Silver bells
Silver bells
I hope I’ll be out by next summer
I heard the doctor say
It costs a thou a day
And they don’t let you out ‘til you pay

And those bells, they keep ringing all day
But in this hospital I’ve got to stay
And I can’t pay this bill, there’s no way
And I wish I could jump in the bay
And I can’t think of any more to say
So I’ll just let the orchestra play

—Stan Boreson’s version of Silver Bells, which I could not find any videos of online or else you’d have gotten that instead of a lyrics transcript

This is really fun, thanks for sending it in! I’d say it must have been composed in the region of Canada where I’m from, if it weren’t for those lines about having to pay for healthcare at the end. 😉

Thanks for sharing this season song!

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