—
All the private parts have to be covered.
But they’re not private parts! They’re all totally public! Darby insisted with a determined look on his face, holding a kilt in his teeth. Everyone has seen them!
That’s not how it works, Owen promised, even though Darby was right.
Social mores are an endless negotiation through a matrix of identity markers that are malleable and socially constructed, and should be challenged!
Yeah, whatever, Judith Butthurt. Give me the kilt.
Darby sighed and spat out the kilt, handing it to Owen. Owen stepped into it, making sure it hadn’t had any surprise alterations to it. It fit just fine, though, and it covered up everything it needed to. See, that wasn’t so hard.
Darby stuck out his tongue. I hope you will be by the end of the night!
With a roll of his eyes, Owen waved Darby away. Put more bandages over your middle. We agreed that only the base of your dick was allowed to be visible, and no balls.
Darby sighed, but went and got another role of ACE bandages and started wrapping them around himself to complete his mummy costume, which really was just a few other bandages. He insisted that his body temperature ran hot like Owen’s did and that he wouldn’t freeze. It was pretty warm for Halloween, so it would probably be fine. Happy now, Mr. Dick Police?
Darby had wrapped part of the bandage around his dick to emphasize what he was hiding, but it was hidden and it would be dark out, so that was fine. Owen nodded. Let’s go, everyone who knew how to get dressed is waiting.
I knew how to get dressed before you stifled my creativity!
I have a cock cage in my kilt pocket in case you have any creativity malfunctions, Owen reminded him.
Darby ran away.
Chuckling, Owen followed him down the stairs, amused that Darby hadn’t noticed his kilt didn’t have pockets. Downstairs, he was with Greg, who’d matched him by dressing as Hatshepsut and who did have some pockets, and Twig, who was going as a video game character whose armour was apparently half a shoulder pauldron and a codpiece. Edwin was dressed in a cult robe to match Robby’s Cthulhu costume. Owen went over and joined them so that Gavin, dressed in full drag as Lady Gaga, could take pictures, by which Owen did mean that he pressed the timer on the camera Greg had set up.
Okay, have fun, Gavin said, as they all headed out. Don’t fuck anyone I wouldn’t.
This is bisexual erasure, complained Darby, the least bisexual person in the group. But fine. Have fun giving out candy! Some of our friends might come over because you have rich people candy so make sure to compliment them and have sex with them if you want!
Gavin laughed, and they got out the door. Owen groped Edwin through is costume. “Hey.”
“Just making sure you’re not wearing underwear,” Owen said. “Cultists don’t, you know.”
Edwin rolled his eyes and they got going. They did a few houses in their neighbourhood, and everyone mostly kept their clothes on and got lots of compliments on their costumes. Watching how Darby interacted with the neighbours definitely told Owen which ones he’d fucked, which was interesting to learn. After a while, though, they piled illegally into Owen’s bigger car so Owen could drive them to a different neighbourhood where the houses weren’t so fucking far apart and where most of the kids’ friends were trick-or-treating.
“Hey, thanks for taking me with you,” Twig said as Owen found a parking spot. “I’ve never done this before and I do like getting free food.”
“Of course,” Owen told him with a smile. He was going to some party later once Dante got off work, and he’d told them he didn’t want to come, which he clearly had. “Shame to have such a good costume and not get to show it off.”
Twig nodded and climbed over Owen to get out of the car. They were on another little cul-de-sac Edwin had suggested they start at. My friend Ty lives in this area, Edwin told the kids. He’s having a party and anyone who comes by gets big handfuls of candy, as long he can see their dicks when he opens the door.
Darby beamed, and so did the others. Even Greg adjusted his costume, and Owen waved them off. “You didn’t tell them which house was Ty’s.”
Edwin shrugged, following after the kids at a distance. “Ty’s neighbours are cool, as long as you don’t mind sucking some dick now and then.”
Owen snorted, and he kissed Edwin, slipping his hand inside Edwin’s robe. “If I can’t get Darby to wrap himself back up after this, you’re spending the night naked.”
“Deal,” said Edwin, groping Owen through his kilt. “It’s Halloween, I doubt anyone would mind.”
It was the horniest holiday, Owen had to admit. He was pretty confident they’d make it through the night without any public indecency charges.
—
How Best to Use a Sword 