Character Profile: Syber Python

Name: Syber Python

Aliases/AKAs: Sy

Serial Number: 9-403-α0014

Title(s): Lieutenant, Temporal Bureau, Department of Internal Security

Hair Colour: Blonde

Eye Colour: Multiple, changing shades of green and yellow

Height: 143 cm

Weight: 99 kg

Build: Bipedal, metallic

Distinguishing Marks: Skinny antennae, Segmented eyes, wing slots on his upper thorax, serial number on his lower back, reverse-jointed legs, clawed feet

Dick Size: Above average

Relationships (Romantic and/or Sexual): Roberto C. Johnson (crush/training partner)

Family Relationships: Teneven Tepla Takk (captain), Jade Vekra (co-worker), Dr. Sin Doubl (creator), nineteen other androids (batch), Prowng-Tat, Vosarian Foselv, Tank the Wank, Heartstopper the Sentient Lightbulb, Chani Mou Re, Wekale Trekka Ban, Horpnia Three, Gdinetrinamiene (squad), Rhonda Peregrine (mentor), The Department of Internal Security (department), entity ω-9 (existential archnemesis), Frederick DiGorre (friend, Earth), Augustus Quasar and Nathan Zimmerman (protégés)

Sexuality: Programmable

Preferred Positions: Programmable

Kinks: Programmable

Orgies Attended: Temporal Fluxing Orgies

Bio: Constructed on a rogue planet classified galactically as C/66-12#14 and known locally as C’clep, Syber Python is made by one of the universe’s foremost experts on AI and androids and given every combat capability that is possible at the time. He is constructed for the sole purpose of destroying Gal-Dron, also known as entity ω-9, an interdimensional monster with the ability to take over any AI and turn it to its side. Miraculously, Syber is able to launch three successful attacks against Gal-Dron, all three of which resulted in a direct confrontation with the monster that leave Syber increasingly damaged, increasingly self-aware and increasingly able to ignore his own programming. His creator fears that Syber’s next encounter with Gal-Dron would mean his inevitable takeover, and therefore implants him with a virus that would destroy Gal-Dron’s AI network once Syber is integrated into it, but Syber, realizing this will hurt the AIs but not Gal-Dron, choses to disobey orders and flee to the ice moon Snook, where he runs several analyses of probability and determined that joining the Temporal Bureau is his best chance at survival. He deconstructs his wings and reassembles them into a time machine, which eventually flags Bureau sensors and allows him to be recruited. He undergoes training and eventually entered the Department of Internal Security, because anything that compromises the security of the Bureau also compromises his own security and that of his friends and newfound family.


  • The first time Syber met Gal-Dron, he left convinced that Gal-Dron was a friend to all AI, thanks to the extended programming Gal-Dron gave him. The second time, his programming was extended farther and he realized Gal-Dron was an existential danger to the whole universe
  • Syber was programmed with the ability to emulate biological life in most ways including consumption of nutrients and excretion of waste. His advanced programming, some received from Gal-Dron and some from the Bureau and some written by himself, allows him to have complex emotions, hobbies, likes and dislikes, gender, the need for rest, the desire for intimacy and companionship, a nonlinear understanding of cause and effect, and most other things that biological life forms have. He is able to turn these subroutines on and off at will and often does this, but never returns to his default programming because he considers the person he is now an amalgam of his own desires and those of his friends who helped him, mostly Bob
  • Syber chose his own name after entering the Temporal Bureau. His training partner Bob convinced him he couldn’t just go by a serial number for his whole existence
  • Syber feels kinship with all other AI in the universe, and wants to find a way to destroy Gal-Dron without making them go extinct
  • When he joined the Bureau, the virus that was meant to kill Gal-Dron was removed from Syber. He keeps it in his quarters in a microchip, just in case
  • Bob teased Syber mercilessly throughout their training, mostly through pranks and getting him in trouble for things, though also occasionally by stranding him in dangerous places or altering his core programming. Syber doesn’t understand this behaviour but does know that Bob engaged in it to endear them as friends, and therefore appreciates it. He occasionally reciprocates, but finds it difficult to interact with Bob socially because he has a crush on Bob, which he has never had the emotional language to articulate properly
  • Everyone expects Syber to be work-focused and not interested in social relationships with his co-workers. He is very work-focused, but when he is off-duty, Syber is very friendly with his co-workers and squad members, and often spends his free time with them
  • Syber was considered a top recruitment candidate by every Bureau department, and chose the Department of Internal Security because he thought it was the most important. Many people thought he was making a mistake and damaging his own career by doing so, but there are already rumours that he might be made one of the Bureau Chief’s Adjuncts soon.
  • Syber’s active cases include several break-ins to the bureau, a jailbreak involving three time mafia operatives, being a member of the search team for Bob’s whereabouts, and a perpetually unsolved case about who has been stealing candy bars from the Department of Research’s vending machines. He is also the secondary investigator on a sweeping investigation into the conduct of the Department of Temporal Coherence, which is so classified that he’s not allowed to store information about it in his memory banks when he isn’t actively working the case
  • Syber and Bob are co-mentoring two current bureau recruits, though with Bob out of the polyverse temporarily, Syber has had to take on all of the mentorship duties


  • “Uh, no, I’m quite fine, thank you. I’m just attempting to navigate this…mall. I’m looking for a friend and was hoping to access the security system to search for him?”
  • “I really don’t need your help. I appreciate the offer but I am quite capable of navigating a compartmentalized space on my own. I have access to considerable mapping software.”
  • “There’s no courtyard and no courthouse. It shouldn’t be called that. It’s misleading.”
  • “That’s a strange question. Time travel is fictional.”
  • “Do you promise not to tell anyone? I could…get in trouble if someone finds out I’m not from this time.”
  • “Yes, sir. Is…there any news about Lieutenant Johnson?”
  • “Get in, loser, we’re saving the world…did I use that slang correctly? It is both derogatory and incorrect.”
  • “Yes. Lieutenant Johnson is very mercurial. It’s quite frustrating to be on the receiving end of someone whose behaviour is dictated entirely by unpredictable moods, isn’t it?”
  • “Just because I cannot reprogram you doesn’t mean I have no control over your behaviour.”
  • “If you’re finding the Bureau’s restrictions difficult, I advise developing hobbies. Recently I have been watching Kan wrestling, and also attempting to solve every unsolvable equation in the universe in chronological order. It’s quite relaxing.”
  • “It’s a mistake to assume that the worst problems are the ones you can see. The worst problems are the ones that pretend they’re solutions.”


  • Syber’s construction day is always on a Wednesday. He didn’t realize this was unusual until he joined the Bureau and was confronted with multiple calendars that all proved this to be paradoxical
  • Syber isn’t sure when he was programmed to think this, but he believes that the last digit of pi is the energy that created the universe. Incidentally, pie is his favourite food on Earth
  • Syber didn’t write any of his own sexual subroutines, Bob wrote them all for him. He therefore blames Bob whenever he gets suddenly horny or has an overwhelming desire to be immersed in slime. He has never been able to prove that Bob sometimes alters his sexual desires from afar, but he’s sure it’s true
  • Syber has several artistic subroutines but is disinterested in aesthetics. However, he has recently been seen wearing a polyester hat with a decorative serpent around the rim while not at his desk
  • Since spending time on Earth, Syber has become fascinated with owls and thinks they are the most impressive biological life form he’s ever seen
  • Despite having a crush on the biggest slut in the Bureau, Syber has never had sex with Bob. During his time off, he conducts a timeline-wide search of whatever his current kinks and desires are, and goes to have an encounter with the second hit on the list, as the first is always Bob
  • Syber’s exoskeleton is made from easily-altered matter so his appearance is malleable, but he’s rarely been bothered to change it from his factory settings except at Bob’s suggestion, though he is mildly frustrated that Bob never seems to notice he’s done it
  • Syber doesn’t like how emotions tend to overwhelm his other sensory processing subroutines, but most of the time he likes feeling them so he only deactivates them when they’re interfering with his work
  • Syber has recently learned that Frederick is sexually available to him and has been composing the message he would like to send to Silas to ask for permission to take advantage of this availability. He believes it will be ready after six or seven more drafts
  • Syber regularly updates his bodily components to be more efficient and powerful. Rhonda once got him to read about something called a Ship of Theseus, which he thought was a foolish thought experiment

Modern AU: Syber rarely has any reason to visit Earth as his work almost never takes him outside of Bureau headquarters, but as part of his ongoing efforts to get Bob to notice him as more than just a training partner, he has gone there on his own a few times. There, he has failed to find Bob but has found a nice human boy named Frederick, as well as some of his Bureau colleagues, who are taking advantage of Earth’s low technology level and temporal distortions to blend in easily to take time off. The more time he spends on Earth, however, the more he realizes it isn’t so much time off as a different task, because he’s increasingly sure that saving the Earth from destruction is a good idea after all.

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