Sam, Experienced

Ao3 Link

“Why is this tower in such a state of disrepair?” Sam demanded after a door fell off its hinges.

“Well,” said the obnoxious toad that had called itself Gnarl after Sam had woken up in a coffin in the basement of this stupid place. “The damage caused by the heroes who slew your predecessor…”

“And in all this time you didn’t think to fix it?” Honestly, this idiot expected Sam to be its king but couldn’t even be bothered to have a decent place for him to live.

“The heroes!” Gnarl said, obviously threatened by Sam. “Made off with the tower’s treasures. If we recover them…”

“Then go recover them.”

A silence fell.


“Well, sire. You’re the only one with the power to recover the treasures.”

Sam sighed. Of fucking course he was. “Fine. Let’s go. Where are they?”

He started walking out of the tower, giving Gnarl no option but to follow him. All the little minions scurried around them, ready to do what Sam wanted. “The first treasure is held by Melvin Underbelly; he’s taken your red minions and, alongside the townspeople of scree, is using them as slave labour for…”

“Good,” said Sam. “So those people are already used to being slaves. We’ll take them for ourselves and they can rebuild the tower. There’s no reason to wait for magical artefacts when there are people who can do it by hand.”

“You do also have the option of freeing them and reaping their gratitude for…”

“Don’t be stupid,” Sam said, waving a hand to shut Gnarl up. “Their gratitude will come from my sparing their lives. Most of their lives.”

“My, but you are delightfully evil, aren’t you?” Gnarl asked, gleeful.

Sam smirked. “You get what you asked for,” he said.

He ended up burning half of Scree as he hunted for the halfling with the treasure. That still left enough slave labour to fix up his tower, not to mention a few boys to keep his bed warm for him while he got ready to find the next treasure.

Gnarl kept acting surprised that Sam knew what he was doing. Sam didn’t feel there was any reason to tell him that this wasn’t his first time taking over to clean up another evil overlord’s mess.



4 thoughts on “Sam, Experienced

      1. For future reference (not that it seems like there’s anything more to do with this polyverse, but you never know) the village is called Spree, not Scree, and Gnarl doesn’t know that the halflings have the Reds until the Overlord stumbles across them while assaulting the halfling settlement. Also, Gnarl generally communicates telepathically/magically/telemagically when the Overlord is out ravaging the world rather than leave the Tower himself.


        1. Oh! Ahaha, thank you for all this clarity! I actually did read a pretty thorough synopsis of the plot but I guess I glazed over a few of the details like how things were spelled. Totally on me. If it happens that anything else happens in this vers, I’ll be sure to make a few corrections, so thank you for that! 😀


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