The story of Ron and James as they learn to overcome all barriers, especially the ones they’ve put up, all while gardening, working with witch, centaur and faery politics, and stewarding a magical forest and loves them deeply. Featuring a lot of plant-based BDSM.
“Have you ever talked to a spirit before?”
“No. I don’t think so.”
“You’re not sure?”
“Well. I’m not sure if the forest counts as a spirit.”
“Oh. That’s a good question.”
“It laughed at me the one time I asked it.”
“Seems like something it would do, yes,” Ron said, directing that comment to the forest, which was indeed laughing again. “I don’t think it’s a spirit. It feels too big.”
“Is Keden doing okay?”
“He seems the same as before.”
“So you don’t think Juniper was talking about him.”
“I don’t know, but it seems unlikely.”
“You really don’t think he’s dangerous?”
“No.”
Jed nodded. “He’s definitely not.”
“You want some?”
“No, thanks.”
“Okay. You guys?”
“Sure, what is it?”
“Just greenheart, nothing serious. Ron, are the kids old enough to do drugs?”
Ron shrugged while he gently moved Jay and Tanner’s Parcelbug away from their house. Apparently his roots were poking into their basement. “They’re old enough to tie each other up and pee on each other, I don’t see why not.”
“What the fuck?”
“Let us go!”
“No.”
“You can’t do this to us, we have rights!”
“Not really, actually.”
“Fucking ugh. This is your fault, you stupid fish.”
“What? You’re the one who broke the shovel!”
“You broke my shovel?”
Jed and Micha blinked, looking together at James. “No,” they said at the same time.
“That’s new.”
“Yeah, James gave it to me the other day.”
“He gave you a boner the other day and you still have it?”
“Yeah, pretty much.”
“Unlike him.”
“He’s branching out,” Ron explained, slotting a post into place with a grunt.
“Hold still.”
“Okay.”
“Excuse me?”
“Yes, sir.”
“That’s better.”
“Sorry, sir.”
“It’s fine. I’m going to start cutting now.”
“Thank you, sir,” Ron said, and he heard the first clip of the scissors. The forest immediately started pouting as Ron’s hair started to fall to the garden, but it didn’t complain like it had been since James had told Ron he was getting his haircut today.
“Just this?”
“And that.”
“Nothing else?”
“No, it’s not a hard ritual.”
“It would be even easier if there was a bridge.”
“Yeah, well.” Ron shrugged. “There’s not.”
“Twenty-three.”
“That was twenty-four.”
“Oh. Are you sure?”
“Yes, you said twenty-three on the last one.”
“Oh. Okay. Twenty-four…I’m pretty sure I didn’t say twenty-three before.”
“You did.”
“Do we have to share a bed in the hamlet?”
“No.”
“I wasn’t asking you.”
“I’m going to sleep in the forest.”
“That’s a great idea! You’ll freeze your balls off and be less annoying and less alive.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Oh. Then it’s a stupid idea.”
“Let’s talk about why you tried to kill me.”
“No wonder you don’t have any friends, if that’s how you start a conversation.”
“I have enough friends to know that friends don’t try to murder each other.”
“Clearly we have different types of friends.”
“Clearly,” said James, standing with his arms crossed in front of Sam. Derek and Todd were here for their visit, and Sam and Henry had come with them. James had sent them a message asking them to. “Would you like to explain yourself?”
How Best to Use a Sword 