Warm Feet

“Why do we have to do this every year?” Sam muttered, leaning against Henry in the car as they fucking finally drove home. He was already taking his tie off and unbuttoning his shirt.

“Because we’re criminals and if we don’t occasionally do a charity benefit then it makes us look bad,” Henry told him, putting an arm around Sam.

“Fuck that. Next year I’m taking over the world so that it doesn’t matter if people think we’re evil.”

Villain, 98

“Todd’s Law could be extended to a lot of other crimes, if you think about it,” said Sam, as Todd toweled him dry after his bath. “Not just rape. We could abolish prisons and just have everyone who’s committed a crime be a plateau butt-boy.”

Todd rolled his eyes, moving down to do Sam’s legs. Sam wasn’t talking to him, he was just talking out loud to annoy him. He’d made up some stupid law where rapists had to wear cock cages and get fucked by everyone and he thought it was really funny.

It was really funny, but Todd hadn’t said that because Sam wanted him to hate that it was named after him. He kind of did, because Todd didn’t think things should be named after him and besides, it would make more sense if it was called Derek’s Law.